I dont want to die but I dont want to live either. I hate my mind right now. Everything feels so pointless. Feeling like I dont matter and my life isnt worth anything. After all I am just an alter, hardly anyone knows me in real life. My therapist is the only one, along with some online friends. I cant live for them, but I dont want to live for me either. There is no motivation to keep on going or trying. Ending it all seems inviting right now. Just feel so lost and alone.