ANGRY

I HATE LIFE. I HATE MY ABUSERS. I HATE EVERYTHING. I WANT TO GIVE UP. I’M SO PISSED. I WANT TO BREAK EVERYTHING IN THIS DAMN ROOM. FUCKING ABUSERS THEY ARE SCUM. CONSTANTLY HARASSING US. GETTING US ALL RILED UP. HARD NOT TO GET RILED UP. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING DIE. I REALLY REALLY DO. I AM DONE. I AM SO FUCKING DONE. BEAT DOWN AND DONE. LIFE SUCKS. MY LIFE IS PATHETIC. I AM A FAILURE. I COULDNT EVEN SUCCEED AT ENDING IT.
PIXIE AGE 21

He can be so critical

sometimes my dad is such a dick head. yes, he can be an asshole. I love him most of the time, but not tonight.

He just made me feel like shit. Not that he’s not done that 1000 times in my life already, but did he really have to do it tonight when I was already feeling bad?

I was talking to mom tonight about nitro’s trainer coming to do some route training with us. She wanted to teach me how to get to the city centre from where I now live on the bus. I was nervous about it, but willing to try it out.

She wanted my mom to be there for the first time while she did the route just as far as the local bus stop with me. Just so my mom could help me practice it and get familiar with it.

So I was telling mom this. And my dad butts in with dont bother going, she’ll never do it. Lovely, dad. Thanks for having a little bit of confidence in my abilities.

So then he continues with why would you want to get the bus when you can get a taxi to where your going? I tried to say because I need to work Nitro more. Then he keeps on with well when nitro retires you shouldnt get another dog, you will never learn this bus route, dont even try.

What a fucking idiot! And now thanks to his very critical outburst I feel like fucking crap.

I wonder if everyone thinks I’m a failure because I dont do enough work with nitro? And I cant go a lot of places by myself?

Obviously my dad does.

Quote of the day for June 8th 2016

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
Marilyn Monroe