Nothing is so broken that it cant be fixed the sun will always rise again, stay positive, keep fighting, there is always hope…
Sometimes I punish myself for having unproductive days but then I’m reminded that I’m only human and breaks are necessary. Don’t feel guilty for putting something on pause temporarily while you reconnect with yourself and find a balance. Remember, your mental health comes first.
If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.
I had a moment of weakness, and I ordered take away food for my lunch. I am not pleased that I caved and gave in to my cravings!
I wish I hadn’t eaten it now! I feel so guilty!
I suppose all I can do now is move on. Start fresh from now. Try to do the next right thing. Try to focus again!
Has anyone got some words of wisdom for me?
Words of encouragement even?
I could so use them! Why is it always so easy to give in!
I really, really need to work harder on saying no to cravings!
You just gotta keep going. Do all you can to be kind, look out for each other, make sure your friends and neighbours are ok, safe, have what they need. If we all try to look out for one another during this epidemic, the world will be a better place and we’ll all come out stronger in the end.
So I saw Dr. Barry yesterday. We had a really great appointment. I hadnt talked to her in six weeks! I didnt realise it had been that long since I was out during our appointments! I mean not out in the body, but out in the appointment with dr. barry!
We talked about how dissociative we’ve been lately. How we’ve been really switchy and very off. Very very dissociative during the day and at night, and its actually getting to a point where it feels unmanageable and unsafe to me.
Dr. Barry was wondering what has us so off? She wondered if it was the recent contact from our abuser, I said I wasnt sure if that was why we were so dissociative, but I told her how We’ve been unable to stay grounded and in the present lately, and we’ve been working in therapy with Eileen on keeping the adult alters in the present.
That hasnt been going well for us. The adults in our system arent really able to stay focused enough to be out for long periods and stay out in the body when we’re at home. Its tough because most of the time I dont know what we’ve been doing and most of the day when I am unable to be out I dont know what has been going on when I am not out!
So Dr. barry said she wanted to try upping our clonadine, to deal with our anxiety, because she said if we get our anxiety levels down, the dissociative stuff may lessen. But she didnt up it this week. She wants to do some more reading up on the med and its uses, especially its uses in treating ptsd. She also wanted to look through our chart and see what other meds she’d thought of trying because she said we do have options and we should look into all of them before adjusting the medication.
So thats what we’re going to try, and in the meantime she told me to keep taking the fenergan for sleep because I told her we arent sleeping too good still. She said keep using all of our coping techniques that Eileen has taught us, and she encouraged us to use our blog to get support. She knows how much our blog means to us and how supportive all of our readers are and how helpful we find that in our healing.
If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.