That is what Eileen would tell me now if I talked to her. I am feeling overwhelmed. Anxious, and emotionally unstable.
God, what a mess I am! My head is all over the place. I need a good pep talk.
Instead I am listening to music, and I found a song I am so relating to right now.
Love this song so much!
Sent it on to Eileen, I know she’ll appreciate it.
gripped by fear
terror is near
my soul wants to soar
but i fall to the floor
back to reality
I’m feeling flat
I crumple in a heap
and I just want to sleep
I’m having a bad night tonight. I cant sleep. I am emotional, and overwhelmed. I am feeling upset, sad, on edge, agitated, and just blah.
I hate nights like this, I dread them, and I was hoping not to have one for a while. Too bad for me I guess, it has happened, and so I’ll just have to deal with it.
At least I have Nitro, he’s a calming presence to me. I love just sitting by his bed, listening to him snoring, although as soon as I come sit by his bed he wakes up and puts his head up as if to say, mom, what now? Lol.
Thank god I will see eileen today. This morning. I am excited for that. I’ve had some contact with her this week via text, and email. I am glad we’ll get to talk in person, well, over zoom this morning.
I think I need a cup of tea, so I shall go make one. Then I might read, I could use some distraction. I’ll come back here in a little while, to chat with anyone who wants to leave me a comment, I sure could use some.
Its the night before Nitro goes in for surgery, he goes in tomorrow morning.
So I was examining his ear where the wart is and I noticed some of the outer part of it is gone, it has fallen off. Its not bleeding or anything so there is nothing to worry about, it just means that the surgery tomorrow will be less invasive I think. The wart is now much smaller in size, the outer crusty part of it has gone now.
I am still very anxiouss.
I doubt I will sleep much tonight! I feel very emotional and very overwhelmed about tomorrow.
Of course mr. nitro is oblivious to it all! He has to fast now until his surgery is over. No more food, but he can have water.
I am gonna take a cab to the vets office tomorrow morning. I was going to walk him down there as its only a 15 minute walk from my house but he hasnt had any food and so he might be weak on the walk so I wont risk it.
I have a very bad UTI. I’ve been in bed all afternoon. When I spoke to dr barry this morning, she encouraged me to call my gp’s surgery, so I did. He rang me back later on this afternoon. He has called in an antibiotic for me, but I cant get it until tomorrow. The pharmacy had finished delivering meds by the time he handed it in. I’m in a lot of pain and feeling very unwell. dr barry told me to drink a lot of water, to flush it out so I’ve been doing that. I slept for a few hours this evening, but now I am up again as the pain is so bad.
If you can send me good thoughts, vibes or prayers I’d appreciate it very much.
I’m gonna post this and take two painkillers and go back to bed again.
Its all I can do. I’m in too much pain to do much of anything else.
One small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means you were put to the test and didn’t fall apart.
eyes wide open
laying on the floor
sobbing like a baby
these memories are so scary
panic setting in!