All done!

I did it! the presentation was awesome! It went really well! I was very pleased with it.
I wont have my results for 2 weeks. I think I did ok though! Everyone seemed to like it, and my lecturer said I did well so thats positive at least.
The main thing is I did it, I wasnt too nervous, and I am happy with it.
Thats what counts!


Review of where we’re at in therapy

today in therapy we had a review. a review of where we’re at. of what is working and what isnt working. we reviewed our work so far, we usually do these reviews once a year. just so eileen can get a feel for where we’re at, and what needs to be worked on and how we need to progress.
she asked me what did i feel we needed to focus on for the next little while. i had a list of four things. they were food and weight, anxiety, sleep and dealing with dissociation.
i told her that i feel that sometimes we skip from topic to topic and its a little disconcerting. i said i feel that sometimes we start working with someone or on something and then we get sidetracked because something else or someone else needs attention and the thing we had started working on is forgotten about or pushed to the side for another time. i want to try to change this.
she agreed that maybe we need to structure sessions more. contract to work on one thing at a time for a while. i said maybe if insiders knew and had reassurance that we’d get to their stuff that it might not be so hard for them to hold their stuff. they’d know we’ll get to them eventually.
we talked about the dissociation. eileen said that even though we still dissociate a lot, that we’ve gotten much better at being able to come back, and i said thats pretty much down to her, she catches it when it happens. she asked me how i felt about her noticing, i said I was glad she does.
some of the young insiders didnt like that we were doing a review, they started panicking when we started it. they were afraid of things changing, they dont do well with change, they want things to pretty much stay how they are.
Eileen reassured them that this was just to help her to help us better, and that seems to satisfy them, and they were calm again after a little while.
We talked about what if therapy was done, how would I feel and what would that look like, at this point she had me use the pulsers and we worked with the feelings for a little while, I find it hard to describe the feelings though. I’m just not good at that at all. She was really helpful to me though and she noticed after a while that doing the work with the pulsers was starting to upset me so she turned them off.
I’m glad we did the review today though. I found it helpful to do that with her.


Giving a Presentation in college tomorrow, wish me luck

Tomorrow morning I have to get up in front of my class at college and give a presentation. I am presenting on schizophrenia.
I am so nervous about it. I think it will go ok. It should be fine. I am going to write out some notes tonight that I can use, I am not using powerpoint, I am going to use braille notes instead.
Everyone else in my class did theirs last week. But I couldnt as I was in the UK so special arrangements were made for me to do it this week instead.
Please can you all send positive vibes, thoughts to me for tomorrow. If you pray please pray it all goes off ok.
Thanks guys,


Feeling off

I woke up feeling bla. I just feel off. I don’t know why! I just woke up numb, then I went from feeling numb to just feeling down. Now I feel so depressed. I cant shake it. I think I need to do something to distract. I ate a banana, and drank 2 cups of tea. I was hoping the tea would make me feel better. It didn’t. Thank god I have therapy tomorrow. I badly need it.

College work all done

I’ve been up since the crack of dawn! I got up at 6 to get started on my college work. And I’m happy to say that now its all done! Well the article review I had to do is done. I still have to write out my notes for my presentation, but I am not going to do that today. I feel accomplished now that I’ve gotten the article review done. That was tough. I chose to do it on WRAP, and the recovery model. It was an interesting article. Not too technical so that was good. I got it done in an hour, once I started it, I was done by 9:30. I was reading a book for a while in bed before I actually started it. I finished up one child, by torey hayden, it was a really great read. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. Now I can chill for the rest of the day. The weather is really bad, its very windy and its raining. The forecast is predicting rain and wind for the whole day. My friend Norma had called me, asked me to come over, but I told her that I wasnt going out in the bad weather, but that I’d come over on Monday if the weather picks up. I started watching a true crime series called 21st century serial killers, its really good. Well I’ve only watched episode 1 of the first season, but I liked it. Now I have made some tea and I am going to do a little blog reading for a while.