Disappointing result on the scales tonight

well I had a really bad result on the scales tonight. I was up 1.5 pounds. I sware, if I continue like this I’m going to scream, the same damn 2 pounds gaining and then losing it for the past 3 or 4 weeks. Ug. Sigh. Its annoying and thats putting it mildly. Anyway. My consultant gave me some tips. Basically she said I’ve reached a plateau, and I basically cant go any further unless I do something to drastically change things, basically in a nutshell I have to now work twice as hard in order to lose the weight. As if I wasnt already working hard enough! She told me that maybe I should try eating more speed, that means a ton more vegetables. So I am going to start having stir frys. I am going to eat stir fry at least 3 or 4 times a week from here on out. I am also going to completely cut out bread. I am going to stop buying breaded chicken and breaded fish and other high fat foods. I wasnt eating a lot of them but I was still eating some. I will have slimming world meals on days where I feel tired or dont want to cook because at least I know the slimming world meals are free from fat. She basically told me to bulk up my plate as well with extra vegetables, so that I get extra speed in, and eat more fruit as that is speed food too. So with that in mind I am hoping I can start losing again. I wont be going next week but the week after I am hoping for at least a 5 pound weight loss. I know if I work super hard I can lose 5 pounds in 2 weeks. I’ll also be exercising so that will also help. I was very disappointed tonight but what can you do, it happens, I cant lose all the time I guess even if I want to.

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Disappointed with the results on the scale this week!

so this week at slimming world I was up! I was up 2 pounds!

I dont know how or why but I was!

So disappointing! 😦

However I am determined to turn it around for next week! I do not want to go in next week and see the numbers rise!

I will do everything in my power to have a loss next week!

I’m not happy about it but I guess it happens sometimes. It rarely happens to me that I am up so that is a positive!

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Bad week for weight loss!

Well I have not had a good week. I did not have a good result tonight when I went to slimming world.
I hate even saying this but…
I was up 2 pounds. How that happened, I’m not sure.
All I can think of that might have caused it is I had extra bread this week, and on Sunday I had dessert after dinner, the dessert was a raspberry chocolate fudge cake, so god only knows how many calories were in it.
I’m disappointed, very much so.
But I plan on turning this around. I am already making plans for what I can do to change it and have a better result next week.
I am going to cut down on tea and coffee, only have one cup in the morning and one in the evening. I am going to cut down on bread. I amalso going to drink a ton more water. And I am also going to increase my fruit and vegetable intake.
Then there is exercise. I plan on doing my workout on my phone every day this week. I just have to motivate myself, and do it. There really is no other way and I do need to start exercising so now is as good a time as any.
So all that to say, heres hoping next week I’ll have a good result. In the meantime I’ll try not to be too disappointed with myself and my progress.

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not good news on the work front

so i got a bit of disappointing news this faternoon. you know how i was hooked up recently with a job coach? and i was going to look for part time work? maybe 20 hours a week? well it looks like that isnt going to happen now.
my job coach rang me a little bit ago. he told me that he’d been ringing around all morning, trying to chase up about my benefits and entitlements. trying to figure out how much i’d actually lose by going back to work, even part time.
it seems he couldnt get a straight answer. i get two benefits, blind pension, which is my weekly money, and blind welfare allowance, which is a monthly cheque for 250 euro. we already know that if you work part time, you can earn 120 euro before any of your weekly money is touched. once you go over 120 euro, you lose 50 cent out of each additional euro.
the thing we didnt know is if i went back to work part time, whether they’d cut my blind welfare allowance off completely. the girl he spoke to about it didnt know either, and said she’d have to speak to a manager about it. so she’s going to call him back on monday to let him know the answer.
meanwhile, he said its going to be really difficult to get me a job where i’d be financially better off. mostly because i dont have experience of working, and most minimum entry level jobs only pay minimum wage. and then there is the issue of transport, and getting too and from work. he said realistically if i got taxi’s too and from work, i’d be using all my money on them and there really wouldnt be a point to me working as it would all be for nothing.
and you know, he’s right. when i thought about it, he’s absolutely right. i was so disappointed. i really really wanted to do this. i got off the phone and could have cried. but I didnt cry. instead I talked to my mom and dad and got their opinions. of course they said dont do it, dont waste your time and go to work to spend all the money you earn getting there. and my mom was like work is a huge commitment, and not to be taken lightly, and if you give your benefits up you might have a very hard time getting them back again if you become unwell and for some reason have to quit.
of course the money isnt the only benefit i’d lose, there is also my medical card, which in turn would lead to me losing my gp’s services, having to pay for my own meds, possibly losing dr. barry etc. thats if i didnt have a medical card any more i mean. i’m just not willing to forfit all that, for a couple of euro.
my job coach proposed me to think things over over the weekend, and he’d find out what info he could about my allowances, and ring me on monday. he was very honest which i appreciated. he said he doesnt want to set me up for failure. he said i was spending money to come in and see him and he wanted to make it worthwhile for me or else have me not use the service after all.
so the likelihood is i wont be going to work at all. and i’ll just have to be ok with that.

Sad and disappointed with my friend

i’m so frustrated right now with my friend. we were meant to be going to this conference for two days. it was a conference on mental illness. it was called critical voices and I was really looking forward to going. there were going to be awesome speakers at it and lots of workshops also. but my friend backed out on me at the last minute. the conference was meant to be next wednesday and thursday. she said she had an appointment to go to and she couldnt get out of it. but she really could have if she tried. she didnt even try. it was some appointment for a dietician. i know those dieticians they will change your appointment if you need to do that. i know because i’ve seen the community dietician before. i just had to email the organiser and say we werent coming and to give our place to someone else. i’m sad and disappointed. i really really wanted to go to this. i feel sorta angry at my friend. she is unreliable. i needed someone who i could depend on. unfortunately that someone wasnt her. so now because she cant go i cant, either. i dont have anyone else to ask. sometimes life really fucking sucks.