I’m a girl who cant make up her mind…

i’m a girl who cant make up my mind
what to do
where to go
should i stay
should i run
and hide away
i should blog
people care
they are here
they are there for me
through thick and thin
and i love them for it
appreciate the friendship
and support i get
wouldnt be with out it
so i stay
and i pray
no toxic people
or creeps
or abusers
find me
and i hope
that i have made the right decision


i’ve decided. tomorrow i will text eileen. i will let her know i was struggling tonight, and i will ask her if i can come on monday morning, before i go to respite, because i dont have to be in respite until 4 PM on monday. i seriously wasnt thinking straight when i was with eileen last monday because i totally would have said to her that i can come in in the morning. hoping she hasnt given my slot to someone else. i think she’ll agree to me coming in provided she hasnt given my time away. if she’s given my time away i’ll be so sad and probably feel a little bit rejected.
still tho i’m gonna ask. its worth asking. if i did come in on monday, we’d technically have no therapy break then until the week eileen is going away which isnt for another 2 weeks.
I just cant deal with a therapy break right now. it feels like its too much to bear.
there is too much coming up for us and too much things that need attention and talk time.
will let you know what happens tomorrow after I talk to Eileen.

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Quitting college for a while

I’m not sure if I mentioned it. But…
We’re quitting college for a while. Everything got to be much for us.
The stress was a lot and our PTSD symptoms spiraled and we ended up totally anxious and stressed to the max.
Now next week we have to go to hospital to try to stabilise. Dr. Barry encouraged us to take a break from college and we are going to take her advice and do that.
We will look at going back when things calm down and we are feeling relatively stable and ok again. It was a hard decision to make.