I feel euphoric this morning! I woke up feeling absolutely fantastic! I am on such a high! I am not sure why I feel this way but man is it a good feeling!
I’m not up to much this morning. I am just going to relax and catch up on blog reading. My mom is very kindly going to go to the bank, to pick up bank statements for me, as if I had to go in and pick them up it would be difficult, so she said she’d oblige me and do it for me, thanks mom!
Did I mention how much I love my mom?
Have art therapy this afternoon, cant wait! Looking forward to it immensely!
I had leftover chicken fajitas for breakfast! I know, not very conventional breakfast food, but oh boy are they good. And I am addicted to them!
Well have a fabulous thursday guys!
I am feeling very frazzled. I know the word is frazzle. but frazzled it is. My mind is doing 90. Working overtime. Anxietys pretty bad right now. Lots of insiders are stirred up. Not sure why. Was it the meeting with Mary? Meeting someone new? Maybe. It could be the heat as well. We don’t do well in warm weather. We find it hard to deal with because our body gets overheated and that’s never good. At least nitro is with us, keeping things calm. He’s nestled by our feet. It feels so good to have him close. He resembles safety for us.
at myself. Hahaha. I’m running on very little sleep. I didn’t go to bed until about 2:30 AM. Its just gone 8 AM now. I woke up early, well I tossed and turned for most of the night, but at 7 I gave up and got up.
My parents are up and all of the dogs are up too. My dad said he’d take the four dogs, mine, his dog, and my sisters two pugs, he is looking after them for the weekend, anyway he said he’d take them out for a walk in a little while.
It looks like its gonna be a nice day out today. I hope so. We never got the rain we were meant to get. That makes me happy. I didn’t want storms.
Sometimes I feel so
i’m shattered. broken into a million little shards. a million little pieces.
that’s what it feels like to be a multiple. your like a puzzle, that doesn’t fit together. the pieces are jagged, and they don’t fit together right.
then there’s my mind, that’s broken too. a million thoughts, flying around in there. flying and spinning so fast.
it makes me dizzy. I hope to some day be whole, fixed, or as fixed as I can be. I can wish, right?
I FEEL DIZZY
IM TRYING TO IGNORE
BUT I’M A LITTLE BIT
HAVE TO FIND THE STRENGTH FROM SOMEWHERE
THE STRENGTH TO CARE
NOT AN EASY TASK
CAN I DO IT?
WILL I LAST?
AND IM JUST FEELING SO INSECURE
AN AWFUL WAY TO FEEL
TRY TO CONCEAL
HANG MY HEAD
WONDER IF I SHOULD GO TO BED
2 AM AND STILL IM WIDE AWAKE
HOW MUCH MORE CAN I TAKE?
Sorry to burst your little bubble, dad, but just because I am looking forward to my holiday does not mean I am not sad, feeling insecure, frustrated, upset about other stuff, just because I seem ok on the surface, I am still very much struggling with my mental illnesses.
I wish you could understand that. I wish you could be more supportive.
I’m your daughter after all, your supposed to know me well. But well, I guess you only see what you want to see. I guess you are or were hoping for a miracle cure. Sorry dad, no such luck.
I havent seen my
Colette from the basement club in a few months.
I actually havent been down to the basement club since last year…october to be exact.
I miss them all in there. I’ll have to make some time over the summer when I have holidays from the ILS course to go in and catch up with everyone.
I miss my mentor though. She was sooo good to me. She helped me out a lot with a lot of things.
She was instramental in me starting volunteer work. She used to come visit me in the hospital when I was admitted to the psych unit.
She always had nice things to say about me. I always felt so good after an appointment with her.
I know if I needed to see her I could though. All I’d have to do is make a phone call and she’d fit me in.
I’m so grateful for mentors like her. She is an awesome person.