i’ve been thinking about my dad all morning. about his drinking. about times in the past where he was violent. where he did things to me like losing his temper and injuring me, always under the influence of alcohol. mostly it was when i was in my teens. he hasnt done anything like that in years. part of me says i should just let it go and move on. but he never apologised for any of it. parts of me are just like fuck him. he doesnt care. if he cared he wouldnt drink. he’d go off of it completely. but then i know he cant. i know its an addiction and addictions cant just disappear, that takes a lot of hard work which i dont think he’s willing to do. so much of our childhood was tarnished with his alcoholism. there was so much yelling at home, so much violence, and we havent even processed a lot of it yet. and i am not sure we ever will.