The depression monster!

I feel so depressed tonight! I’ve been laying here thinking. Dangerous to do but I’m doing it anyway.
I feel so worthless. Like I’m feeling trapped in my own mind. My thoughts whirling and swirling.
I hate it. I want this darn feeling to fucking end!
Life sucks when your depressed. And I felt so good earlier today when I got my nails done. It was a treat to actually go get them done. I felt pretty. But now, that feeling has turned to “I am ugly” “I didnt deserve to go get my nails done” so why did I bother?
Who cares about me?
Deep down I know people care, but I wish I felt like they did.
I feel horrible. I feel so alone. Lonely. I’m heading into crisis. I just know it.
I dont know what I will do. Probably stay up all night ruminating. More than likely thats what will happen. My mind wont shut up. Or off.
Now I have heightened anxiety also. I already took meds for it. I’ve got nothing else to take.
I guess its put up and shut up!