Not our usual session time!

This week we’re having our therapy session on a different day. Normally it is on Mondays. But this Monday is a bank holiday so Eileens not working.
WE had said she’d contact me to arrange it, since last Monday she said she’d have a better idea of when she’d be able to schedule it towards the end of the week.
Yesterday afternoon, around 5 PM she texted me. I was on the phone at the time, and 3 texts came in in a row. I was like, who the hell is texting me? So when I got done I checked and they were all from eileen!
She sent 2 very confusing messages, and then the third one was the right one. She also said, I’m not good at texting today, end of the week, lol!
Anyway, we’ll have our session at 11:30 on Thursday morning! I am so looking forward to it!
Its kind of weird seeing her at a different time and on a different day but, its also good, as the next time I’ll see her after thursday will be the following Monday, and thats very close to thursday!
So yay! Its all good!

Feel like cancelling therapy!

I am so anxious! I feel absolutely terrible!

I want to cancel my therapy session this morning! That’s not a good sign, as I almost never want to do that. I’m not gonna cancel it, but I really don’t feel up to having a session this morning.

However, I’ll push on through. I’ll tell Eileen how I am feeling. Maybe putting words on it is going to help me. I hope so!

I have 3 hours before the session. I need a cup of coffee and a good cry. I really feel like shit!

Is anyone around? Could use some support if you are!

Ok, about therapy updates, what I’ve decided to do!

So in order to keep it real, I’ve decided to keep blogging about my therapy process, and I will be updating here, since some people prefer it to email. So what I am gonna do is put the updates behind a password. So from now on all of the posts containing therapy material will be passworded, so if you’d like to have the password please let me know in the comments section. or you can contact me via my contact page on here also. This new policy will take effect immediately, but it is just the therapy posts which will have a password on them!
Let me know if you want it!

Taking my therapy updates off of the blog, for now at least

to all of my readers,
I’m thinking of taking some stuff off the blog, like therapy updates. for now at least.
I have an email list where I will be posting my therapy updates.
Are any of you interested in joining it? If you want to receive updates on my therapy I will need you to subscribe to it.
I just want to keep things more manageable for now. And putting it on the blog is a little less private, and I’d prefer to keep it to a group of people I know and trust.
If you want to join my updates list, please leave a comment below, with the email address that you’d like me to invite you with.
If I’ve already invited you and your already on it that’s ok, I don’t need you to leave a comment.
If you would prefer to email me directly with your email address instead of leaving it on here then my email address is

manyofus1980@gmail.com

Look forward to your emails!

Processing anger with Eileen

ITS LIZ. TODAY DURING OUR SESSION SOME PARTS WERE FEELING VERY ANGRY. BUT WE DIDNT HAVE ANY WORDS. SO WE WERE DOING EMDR TO HELP US PROCESS SOME OF THE ENERGY SURROUNDING THE ANGER. WE DID AN EXERCISE WITH EILEEN WHERE SHE TOLD US TO TRACK OUR ANGER, TRACK ALL OF THE SENSATIONS IN OUR BODY, AND FOLLOW THEM. SO USING THE PULSERS AT FIRST, AND THEN WHEN THEY DIDNT WORK, EILEEN DID THE TAPPING ON OUR HANDS. AND IT WAS REALLY HELPFUL. ANYWAY, SHE HAD US DESCRIBE TO HER HOW WE FELT IN OUR BODY, THAT PART WAS HARD. THEN SHE SAID, NOW, IF YOUR ARMS COULD MOVE, WHAT WOULD THEY BE DOING? OUR IMMEDIATE ACTION WAS PUNCHING, SO SHE TOLD US TO DO WHAT WE FELT WE NEEDED TO WITH OUR HANDS AND ARMS. THAT FELT KINDA WEIRD TO ME THOUGH. SO THEN SHE SAID, CAN YOU PUSH YOUR HAND AGAINST MINE? SO I DID. AND SHE PUT PRESSURE ON AND I PUSHED, AND PUSHED, HARDER AND HARDER. SHE SAID IT FELT REALLY STRONG. IT SORT OF FEELS LIKE, WO! STEP BACK! SHE SAID. LIKE YOUR SAYING, IN THE PUSHING, NOBODYS GOING TO PUSH ME AROUND! THAT WAS EXACTLY IT! IT FELT SO GOOD THAT THE ANGER HAD SOMEWHERE TO GO, ALL OF THAT ENERGY, HAD SOMEWHERE TO GO. IT MADE US FEEL A SENSE OF RELIEF, A SENSE OF OH MAN THANK GOD! AND TO THINK WE ALMOST DIDNT GO TO THERAPY! IT WAS A REAL BATTLE TO GO BUT WHEN WE DID THAT PIECE OF WORK, MAN WAS I SO GLAD WE WENT! I EVEN SAID AS MUCH TO EILEEN, I TOLD HER HOW GLAD I WAS THAT WE PUSHED THROUGH OUR FEAR ABOUT GOING TO THERAPY AND IT PAYED OFF. I LOVE WHEN WE HAVE A GOOD SESSION. I MEAN WE MOSTLY ALWAYS DO BUT ITS NICE WHEN WE CAN DO A PRODUCTIVE PIECE OF WORK IN THERAPY.

Virus-free. www.avg.com

EMDR went wrong

so today in therapy we were using the pulsers, but half way through our work with them they stopped working, well one of them did. it just wouldnt work, it stopped vibrating.
eileen, being her awesome self, came up with a solution.
Is it ok if I do the tapping on your hands? She asked?
Uh, yeah, I guess so, I said.
So we ran with that. she helped me process some anger by tapping on my hands, and we worked with the anger until the energy shifted and I was able to process it a little.
I was so intrigued by the tapping she was able to get it to work, I couldnt believe it would work, we’d never done it like that, with her doing it instead of giving me the pulsers.
Just goes to show how good EMDR actually is!
I left the session feeling a lot lighter, a lot calmer, and a lot better.