Here is a video by trauma specialist Bessel vander kolk, about how to stay safe and not feel isolated during the coronavirus pandemic when we are all isolating at home. Its a really great video so check it out!
it makes me gloomy
dont want to listen
to the news
refuse to listen
more than once a day
but when its in your face
what to do then?
The coordinator of my PA service rang me this afternoon. She rang to ask me if I had any family support. I said usually I would but right now my moms health isnt great, and so she cant be there for me like she usually is, as she’s cocooning. My dad is helping her, and he’s also not in the best of health himself either. He’s doing what he can for mom, getting the groceries, meds, etc. She told me that she’d get back to me but basically the agency who provides my PA’S have decided that the PA’S can only do essential things like grocery shopping etc. They basically cant come into the service users home for long periods. I have 7 hours a week, but she said I may have to cut down my hours while the coronavirus pandemic is going on, I may have to cut them to once a week, for an hour or 2 max. I’m baffled. I’m vulnerable, I’m blind, I need help, I need help with the housework, shopping, etc. Now it looks like I’ll only have help with grocery shopping. Dont know what I am supposed to do! Its baffling! You’d think they’d help the most vulnerable, not cut my services? Its so weird? I mean I suppose its all about trying to stop the spread of the virus. I know people have to be safe. But this? I know if all comes to all I’ll just have to go to my mom and dads house, but I really cant afford to do that unless it becomes absolutely necessary. I need my wifi, for my therapy sessions, I need it for work, I need the landline phone to be able to talk to dr. Barry, and actually Dr. Barry is getting zoom too soon so we’ll be probably using that for our appointments. This is just not cool. I am annoyed and frustrated!
My days just seem to blend into one another. Being on lockdown isnt helping any. I am just at home all the time, now, and sometimes I dont even get dressed, like yesterday, I stayed in my pajamas all day. Shame on me. I know I should make more of an effort to get dressed but I figure, whats the point?
Today though I will change that. I have my PA coming at 9 this morning, and I am going to take Nitro out for a walk. We’ll go out for half an hour. I hope we dont get stopped by the police, they are stopping people now and asking them where they are going and how far they intend to go etc.
Nitro needs a walk and so do I. I neeed the fresh air.
Other than that I work today. I thought I’d have next week off but again my supervisor asked me yesterday if I am ok to continue on working for another week, and I said I would. I wont see them stuck and with the pandemic they’ve gotten a lot of new referrals now.
Self isolation is so difficult. I have up and down days but I am trying very hard to just be ok. My friend Pat called me last night, and he said he’s feeling very depressed and he’s sleeping a lot. We talked for a while and I think it helped him to just chat. It helped me and I said I’d call him again this evening.
I literally havent seen anyone since sunday except for my next door neighbour and my PA. And thats how its going to be for a while yet I’d say. After my Pa leaves today I wont see anyone again until she comes back again next week on tuesday morning.
But I am thankful its the weekend, I do love weekends, even though nowadays every day seems like a saturday or sunday.
It feels so surreal
Each day my clients tell me
How they feel
Each day I listen
While on the phone
To their worries
And their fears
They tell me
It helps to talk
I am glad to be able to be there
To help them through
I feel lonely too
But I dont tell them that
I keep it hidden
Keep it to myself
Isolation is a horrible feeling
I dont tell them
That I too am vulnerable
I too have both a disability
And a mental illness
Just like many of my clients
I too have issues
But I have to keep them separate
So I can continue to work effectively
Hard as that is
Its Wednesday, time for a mid week check in!
How are you all doing? How are you holding up?
Are you getting through the lockdown? Are you going insane yet?
Do let me know how things are going for you!
My anxiety cripples me
Fear, do you see?
What does the future hold
Making everyone sick
Sick with worry
Life is so unclear