she died by suicide!

Ok so you remember last week I told you about the lady who died, a sister of one of our friendly call clients? And I told you how brenda my supervisor was working with the family? Well we found out the lady who died, she was only 43, and it wasnt a heart attack she had, she died by suicide! She died of an overdose. She’d been found on her parents couch, and all that day the day she was found, she’d been asleep, she hadnt woken up at all, and her son found her dead on the thursday evening. But all of thursday she had never woken up. The client of friendly call, she’s her sister, but she wasnt able to check on her because she is morbidly obese, our client is, and she cant leave her bedroom, so no one was able to check on her sister until her son came over and found her. Its so sad. She was so young. She did have serious mental health issues, in fact the whole family does. Their father died last year of cancer, and he was holding the family together, and when he died things got really bad for them all. Their mother is still alive but she’s a raging alcoholic and she’s very unsteady on her feet, she’s around 76 now and my supervisor thinks it wont be long until the mom dies too. The girl who died, I’ll call her G. And our client, I’ll call her H. G was the only one who could transfer H from bed into her wheelchair, there are home helps coming in but G was the one person who could look after H and meet her needs. Now that G is dead H might have to go to a nursing home to live out the rest of her life. H is only 41. So sad that she’ll have to end up in a nursing home but due to her size and health requirements and her mother being so ill and drinking heavily it might just happen. As it was H wasnt able to attend G’s funeral on Monday, and my supervisor sat with her all day, so she wouldnt be on her own. Which I thought was very kind of her. Her other brother J is in hospital, getting his toes amputated. So he couldnt make g’s funeral either. See how the whole family is struggling? Its tragic. I feel sorry for H and sad for g and I wish we could do more. Its just a really awful situation they’re all in.


worked today

I worked today. it was a good shift.
the office was busy. there were 3 of us in. two new girls started recently. they are still learning the ropes.
they’re nice girls. very friendly.
i had one hard call, a client got very angry saying he needed to go to a hospital apt and he had nobody to go with him, we offer a bus to transport people, my supervisor said she wasnt going to offer that to him though. he fell out with his family, argued with them and she said he’s trying to get us to bring him and he needs to just make up with his family since they’re really ggood to him. so she said she isnt going to offer to take him.
when i told him that he should make up with his family he hung up on me. my supervisor said she spoke to his sister yesterday to ask her if he really doesnt have anyone to take him, and she told her what happpened and that they’d fallen out.
it was a tough call to take. i didnt have any background on him either until the call ended. when i was on it my supervisor asked me who i was talking to and what was going on because she heard me struggling with the call.
I am so glad I have her and that she’s in the office mostly when we’re working. she’s a great support as she knows all of the clients very well, better than I know them at least.
i was in work for 3 hours. i was tired at the end of my shift and when she dropped me home i had some dinner and then napped for a while. i’m glad i went in today. i go in again tomorrow afternoon.

Working on us prompt, week 6

Becky blogs over at beckys mental mess and she is doing the working on us prompt again this week, so I thought I’d participate!


  • Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.
  • There are no right or wrong answers. Write in any format you see fit. (Answers, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short proseanything).
  • You can do one or all prompts.
  • You have from July 10th. through to July 17th to submit your entries.

  • Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.
  • If you the blogger have a suggestion/question you want to ask in the future weeks, please submit them in the comment section of this post.
  • Lets see if we can get some men involved in this weeks prompts, your feelings a validated here too!
  • Plus, as an added bonus, whoever responds to the following prompts will automatically be reblogged to promote your blog site

Week #6 Prompts:

(Note: The reason why I selected this weeks topic is based on reading so many blogs that have pertained to this very subject matter in recent weeks, Depression and I think it would do a bit of good if we all shared about it in detail, and perhaps really help one another out with the same issue).

Prompt #1 Questions:

  1. There are so many varieties of depression out there, such as Bipolar Depression, and (SAD) Seasonal Affective Disorder. What type of depression do you suffer from, or have?
  2. I have clinical depression, at least that is what I was diagnosed with in my late teens, the diagnosis hasnt ever been changed, although my current psychiatrist seems to think I have rapid cycling depression, and she may do a further evaluation on me in the future to try to figure out exactly if my depression type has changed.
  3. What do you do to fight your depression? (Meaning, therapy, medications, meditation, ECT). To fight my depression I use coping skills, meds, support of family and friends, my blog, the support of my therapist and psychiatrist and I also read self help books and articles.
  4. Does anything help you, and if so What? Blogging, reading, relaxation and meditation, medication, hot showers, my dog, my friends and family, the sun, amongst other things.

Becky also provided picture prompts to do, but I chose not to participate in those this week.


A work situation has really made an impact on me

So last week, I went with my supervisor to a womans house, to fix her TV. The lady is 87 years old. She had had no tv for the last 3 years, since digital tv was brought in for our local channels. She has no family, and so basically she’s been in the house on her own every day, for the last 3 years, looking at the four walls.

My supervisor warned me that the house was in a bad way. And the lady in question had severe hygiene problems, she wouldnt let anyone in to wash her, and she doesnt wash herself. So she smelled really badly and so did the house. It made me feel so sad for her.

Imagine at 87 years old to live like this? It really got to me to see someone in that state. My supervisor and I knocked on her door, and at first she wouldnt open the door to us, but then eventually when my supervisor told her it was us, she did open it.

My supervisor told her I was blind and one of the volunteers, and she was very friendly to me, I didnt know her, as she gets a call in the morning and I usually dont work mornings so I’ve never spoken to her before.

This whole situation has really really impacted me deeply. For the whole week I’ve thought about it and about her. I cant put her out of my mind. I just feel incredibly sad for this poor lady.

My supervisor had her whole house deep cleaned a few months ago, but now its right back to being filthy again, and there is even faeces everywhere, we dont know what she’s doing to have it be like this, but obviously whatever she’s doing or trying to do to clean herself isnt working.

We did fix her tv, and then we left, but I was sad to have to leave her in such a state, but there really was nothing more we could do. Her home help was going to come in later on in the afternoon, and my supervisor did say she’d try to have her house deep cleaned again as soon as she could arrange for someone to go in and do it.

Its a desperately sad situation though! Makes me grateful for what I have and who I have around me.


Special blogger award

Thank you Ashley for nominating all bloggers to do this award! This award was thought up by sophie, of girl vs. world!


1.) Thank the blogger who nominated you

2.) Answer the questions you are asked (if youre comfortable doing so!)

3.) Create 10 questions for the bloggers youve nominated

4.) Nominate at least 3 bloggers for the Special Blogger Award

5.) Comment on your nominees most recent blog post to let them know youve nominated them

6.) Have fun!

Questions from Sophie:

1.) What made you take the leap and start your blog?

I started blogging in 2012. I wanted to raise awareness of dissociative identity disorder, and mental illness in general, my blog took off from there.

2.) Are you aiming to progress your blog into a full time job or keep it as a hobby?

I just want to keep it as a hobby. I am definitely not looking to make big bucks from it.

3.) What are your favourite kind of blog posts to read?

My favourite is generally anything mental health-related.

4.) What are your favourite kind of blog posts to write?

Mental health related posts, or life updates.

5.) Do you feel your blogging experience has impacted you positively? Why/why not?

Definitely. It provides a sense of community that I wouldn’t be able to access any other way, and it’s something productive to devote my time to.

6.) Are the people in your life (outside of the blogging community) supportive of your blog?

Most of them dont know I have a blog. I prefer to keep it like that too.

7.) What advice would you give to fellow bloggers who are just starting out?

Be real. Be honest. Be you.

8.) If you could go back to when you first began your blog, what piece of advice would you give yourself?

The same as in the previous question.

9.) What is your top tip for growing a blog?

Engage with other bloggers, post to your social media if you have facebook, twitter etc.

10.) How many blog posts do you post a week? Do you try to stick to a schedule or just post when you feel like it? I’ve been posting daily for most of the time I’ve had my blog. Some days I post 1 or 2 posts, on other days I post more. It really all depends. I schedule some posts, sometimes. If I am busy or have things I need to say that I may forget to write about, when I think of them I schedule the posts ahead of time.

I nominate anyone who wants to play along to answer these questions!

Have fun!


busy work shift

just got home from work. it was a busy afternoon. before i got to the office, my supervisor asked me to go to a ladys house and fix her tv. so we did that. the lady in question had a bad hygiene problem. the house smelled really bad. my supervisor said she wont let anyone help her to clean herself up. so she smells really bad too. it was hard to sit there while my supervisor tried to fix her tv. the smell was over powering. but i did it. and we did fix her tv. after we did that we had to go to a lauderette an dhand in someones bag of laundry, the client in question whose laundry it was was in the hospital. so after we did that we finally got to the office. it was 2:40 by the time we actually got to the office. i had a long list of calls to make, but i got through them all. mostly all of my clients were ok today. one lady did say her knees were hurting real bad, another lady said she feels she’s going downhill, it was sad to hear her say that, this lady is 92 years old. a lovely sweet lady she is. it was nice to get to talk to them all. i had my regular list today, the ones i am used to calling, the ones i know really well. my supervisor is going to be out of the office now for a few days, she told me to email her in the morning and she’ll send me on my list for friday. i’d better not forget to do that. there were two new staff today too, they are going to be making calls, it was an overall great shift. i am exhausted now. i came home, and cooked, and now I am just messing around online. I am going to turn on the tv soon and watch something. then I might read later on this evening.

Work calls

Well my supervisor just texted me. Apparently they’re short staffed for tomorrow in friendly call, so she asked me if I can come in for the afternoon.
I was able to do it for her. I’m not doing anything in the afternoon. So I guess now I am going into work.
Its good because it will give me something to focus on and take my mind off of my mood instability for a few hours.
I told her I need to take Friday off, since I have my cousins wedding next weekend, and on friday I need to get my nails and waxing and tan done.
She said that that was fine, not a problem. I’ll do tomorrow afternoon, and tuesday afternoon.