Panick over!

Well guys, I am rethinking things. I may actually be able to stay in college after all. I panicked earlier, when I saw that F on my grades. I couldnt cope with it. But my friend denise emailed me, she said she got an F too. And she said she knows 8 others who also got f’s. So something is clearly up. Something is a miss.
I feel if I can sort it out thenI may stay in the course after all. Despite my symptoms, and despite what is going on, I do like the course, I enjoy it, I enjoy learning.
Denise has emailed brenda our coordinator. So have I. I also sent an email apologising for my earlier one I sent her.
I hope this works out. I am glad I wasnt the only one who got an F.

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Sad because I had to quit college

I am so sad tonight. I had to quit college. I failed an assignment. I couldnt believe I got an F on it. I was heartbroken. I decided the pressure was too much. I cant keep everything going. I have way too much going on right now, what with symptoms flaring, and ptsd stuff coming up. Also I dont think I am cut out for college. I’m feeling pretty disheartened, but it was for the best. I think and feel I did the right thing.
We were almost done for the term anyway. I stuck it out as long as I could. But with all that is going on I couldnt keep it up. I feel like such a failure.
I feel like I constantly start things but dont finish them. This course was meant to help me out with extra training to help with my volunteering, but then, part of me says, well, I am already the expert, I have mental illness, I dont need training in it.
I guess its ok. I had to do what I had to do.
Just feel bad about it. I just emailed my coordinator to tell her of my plans.
I hope she’ll be ok with it.

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Well so much for a plan

so much for a plan! i was all plans to go in to college this morning. not isolate, go in, and sit through class. i got up super early. i showered, ate breakfast, and was ready to leave, I had 20 minutes to go before leaving the house. I am in a whats app group with the members of my class that I am doing the group project with. Two of them usually help me out, walking me around in the building, guiding me in and out, and basically just helping me if I need help. Anyway the two of them texted the whats app group saying they wouldnt be in this morning. So then I decided I wouldnt go in either. I mean I could have gone in, but it would have been awkward, and I wasnt sure if anyone else would help me. I didnt want to chance it just in case they didnt. So now I am trying to figure out what to do with myself for the morning. At least I am not on my own, and at least my mood is a little brighter. I’m so happy about that. Plus I got up early, I slept well, and thats also really good. Maybe I’ll have a better day today. I hope I will. I’ll have a leisurely relaxed morning. I need it.

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Procrastination!

I have this assignment to get started on for college. Its a poster presentation. We are working in groups. There are 5 of us in my group.
I do not enjoy group work. My group is fine, we are all friends. But I cannot seem to get started on the work for my part of the assignment.
I got an email tonight from one of the other members, telling me what I need to do for my part of the project. I told her I’d start it at the weekend, and I will try my hardest to do that. It needs to get done. Wish me luck guys!
Not feeling motivated at all!

All done!

I did it! the presentation was awesome! It went really well! I was very pleased with it.
I wont have my results for 2 weeks. I think I did ok though! Everyone seemed to like it, and my lecturer said I did well so thats positive at least.
The main thing is I did it, I wasnt too nervous, and I am happy with it.
Thats what counts!

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Its here!

Well its here! Todays the day! Presenting in an hour! Omg! I am sooo nervous!
I didn’t sleep very well either. I managed to get 2 or 3 hours of sleep but that was it!
I got up at 6:30, drank lots of coffee, showered, and now I’m ready or as ready as I’ll ever be!
I went over my presentation and read it aloud! I hope I will do well at it!
My friend Denise is going to help me a little, she offered to use powerpoint for me, and press the button to make my slides go from slide to slide. I took her up on the offer. I think it will be good if the class has a visual thing to go on as well as me just talking to them.
I’ll sure be glad when this I sover! At least I am doing it at the start of class!
Wish me luck guys! I need it!

Giving a Presentation in college tomorrow, wish me luck

Tomorrow morning I have to get up in front of my class at college and give a presentation. I am presenting on schizophrenia.
I am so nervous about it. I think it will go ok. It should be fine. I am going to write out some notes tonight that I can use, I am not using powerpoint, I am going to use braille notes instead.
Everyone else in my class did theirs last week. But I couldnt as I was in the UK so special arrangements were made for me to do it this week instead.
Please can you all send positive vibes, thoughts to me for tomorrow. If you pray please pray it all goes off ok.
Thanks guys,

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