Its Thursday here already, its 2:03 AM!
I havent gone to bed yet. I probably wont go after I write this either. I slept a lot yesterday and I am not tired now. And I dont have anything to do tomorrow, other than veg on the couch, so I can sleep whenever, Nitro is laying here next to me, he’s panting, I think he’s too hot. I probably need to turn off the heat. I have the radio on, the repeat of this mornings talk show is on. I didnt hear it so I am enjoying listening to it and I am also enjoying catching up on some blog posts. I love the peace and quiet. The house is so cosy and so warm. I feel good. Thats the gist of my day so far, time for me to go grab a glass of pepsi now, because, pepsi is the ilixor of life!
I am wide awake. I cant sleep. At least my headache is gone. Thank god!
I’m full of anxious thoughts. Full of awful anxious feelings. Anxiety is awful I am so over it and I wish it would just disappear.
I was feeling cold, so put my heat on, and turned on the radio, there is a repeat of this mornings talk show on. I have already heard it, but mostly I put the radio on for background noise.
My friend Norma said she’d come over this morning, she’s going to bring me some gloves, disposable gloves to use when I go to the ATM machine tomorrow, because well, you don’t know whose been using it before you so its a good idea to wear the gloves when touching it. Well I think so anyway.
I did sleep a little bit, but I wish I’d gotten a bit more sleep. I dozed on and off, but I couldnt fall into a deep sleep. I am too worked up. This coronavirus has me so anxious.
I’m worried about my sister now possibly having it, she’s been around me and so I am worried in case I will catch it too. Its a huge worry too in case my mom will catch it. Dont know what I’d do if anything was to happen to my mom. Will just have to hope that the lady who my sister worked for doesnt have it and so she couldnt have passed it on to her.
I’m gonna go make a cup of coffee, I need a caffeine fix. Lol. 😀
I start to boil the kettle
The sweet aroma
Fills my nostrils
I pour the water into the mug
Stir the coffee and take a big gulp
That first sip
Now my morning can begin
Eyes slowly open
Its 7 PM!
How long have I slept?
I shoot out of bed
Go to the kitchen
Get a drink
I hate it
When I am suddenly
Thrown into awakeness
Its so disconcerting
I turn on my tv
And thenI decide
A coffee would be good!
Off to the kitchen again I go!
I went back to bed this morning, and I lay there for hours, I got so comfy that I actually fell into a deep sleep.
I just woke up and its 2 PM now. I needed the rest. Now that I’ve rested my body, I am feeling great!
I got up, made a coffee, and am about to start work. I am intending to work until around 5 PM.
Sometimes our body needs rest. I figure since I’m homebound that if I need rest I’ll just grab it. Why not?
Might as well make use of our down time, and be as lazy as possible!
so i’m still very anxious. the anxiety hasnt lessened at all. i took my night meds, in the hopes that would help some, as there is clonadine in there for the anxiety.
it hasnt helped, although i only took them about 30 minutes ago. i did nap earlier which i was glad about. i got about 90 minutes of sleep. the 90 mins i got was pretty decent sleep.
we’re under a weather advisory tonight and tomorrow and i think on tuesday as well. there is talks of us having hail, sleet and snow showers. i’m not sure if we’ll get it or not but they’re saying we could. i do have therapy in the morning but thats all that i have on tomorrow. so if it is pretty bad at least i can stay home.
i just wish i felt good. i really feel awful. im not liking the feelings this anxiety is bringing up in me. hopefully in therapy tomorrow we can address some of it. i’m sure its more than just one thing causing it.
i had another call today from the weekend team. this morning, a nurse called mary who I also knew from the hospital, when she was a nurse on the ward rang me. she was nice, and she talked me through some stuff. it was a good call, and it did help me to feel a little better.
if i need the weekend team again next weekend i can ring the outpatient clinic during the week and ask for a referral to go in so that they can visit me and call me. i wont be going to my parents house next weekend, so if I get referred to them, they’ll probably come out to my house to visit me.
Well I am going to go watch operation transformation on tv now. I like following it. Its a good show and I will enjoy it and have a coffee while I watch it, as I’m going to be up for a while yet I think.
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