Book review: Please let me go by caitlinn spencer

Ok so I’ve just recently finished the book called, please let me go which is by caitlinn spencer. Caitlinn is from the UK, and her book is her personal memoir, her personal story of being groomed and then sex trafficked by gangs of Pakistani men. All this because she was white, and this is what these gangs do to white girls. Caitlinns story started when she was just 14 years old, and she was out of school, and answered an AD in the newspaper looking for models. It started from there, and she was psychologically and systematically abused by a man who was selling her for sex. He controlled her in every way, even going so far as to rape her in her home, in her parents bedroom. When she was 15 she got pregnant as a result of the abuse she was enduring, and this man, her groomer, took her for an illegal abortion. After about a year of controlling her and grooming her, he then sold her on to the Pakistani gangs. These gangs sodamised and raped her on a continuous basis. they’d come to her home and pick her up in taxi’s, they’d take her to hotels, they’d abuse her in car parks, in taxi’s etc. She wasn’t able to say no to them, because her psychological scars ran so deep from being controlled by that first man who groomed her. Her parents knew something, and turned a blind eye to it. How parents can do that is beyond me. They should have protected her, but instead they kicked her out at 16 and she had to go live in a hostel where she was vulnerable and more horrific things happened to her. Over the years she tried to go to psychiatrists, and professionals for help, but they had her down as working as a prostitute, and nobody helped her, they just diagnosed her as having bipolar, bpd, and gave her meds and left it at that. The abuse went on for over a decade. She had 11 pregnancies, only 2 of her pregnancies went full term, and the rest of her babies were either aborted or miscarried. She tried to escape to Australia a few times, but during one of her Australian visits she ended up working as a prostitute. So really she was back in an abusive situation again. Years later she tried to go back to Australia and apply for a visa and residency there to keep her girls safe from harm, but she was refused. In the end she got out of the abuse, and her story is a really powerful read. I would highly recommend it. Its shocking, and will shock you to your core. Some of the things that happened to her are horrendous. I can relate though having gone through similar abuse in my childhood and teens. Nothing shocks me, but it may shock you if you choose to read this book. These gangs were operating widely in the UK for years, grooming the most vulnerable kids, and then going on to abuse them horribly. They were found out though, their activities were detected, and subsequently some of these men were arrested and charged. I am glad that Caitlinn told her story. And I am glad I read it. She is very brave, and a warrior and survivor in every sense of the word.

If you want to read this book its available in audio from audible, on amazon in paperback or on kindle.

Book review: Survivors, by Maggie Oliver

I just finished an amazing book. It was a long book, over 10.5 hours in audio. But it is so worth it, I highly recommend it to everyone!
the book is called survivors, and is written by maggie oliver.
It is the story of the child abuse scandal in rochdale in manchester in the UK, this was a huge case, it was where white girls were being groomed and sexually abused and exploited by pacastani and asian men, the men were grooming the girls first, and then abusing them.
Maggie was a detective working on the case. The story centres mainly around one family who went through the abuse, it centres on a mother and her two girls, and the majority of the book is about them.
but during the story, maggie also talks about her own life, her life story is intertwined within the book also. She openly talks about losing her husband to bowel cancer, about losing her grandaughter, and about her grief.
She also talks about her training to become a police officer, and about the different jobs she worked on while she was a police officer.
And, she doesnt shy away from the bad side of being a police officer either. She talks about how she was bullied when she first started, and then as the rochdale case was going on, she talks about how she found things done during the case to be wrong, she had a lot of misgivings about how it was being handled. But nobody would listen to her. No one in the police was taking her seriously.
At the end of the book she talks about her time on celebrity big brother, and about the tv show that was made depicting the rochdale case.
Its a fascinating story, and once you start it, you’ll be hooked, just like I was.
The book is definitely a page turner!
Its available on audible, on kindle, and in paperback.
I give the book 5 stars!

Kids say the funnest things!

Convo with my 11 year old niece that took place today…

Lauren seeing me making a cup of coffee: How can you make coffee when your blind?
Me: I just can!
Lauren: But how come you don’t burn yourself?
Me: I am just careful!
Lauren: But you cant see! How do you do it?
Me: Do you think you could pour hot water with your eyes closed?
Lauren: No! I think I might be able to make tea but not sure about pouring it!
Me giggling: I dare you to try! No wait, on second thoughts, don’t!
Lauren: You can do everything!
Me: I don’t know about that!
Lauren: Yes you can! Your my amazing aunt!
Me: Awwwh youre a sweetie!

❤ ❤
And with that, I hugged her, grabbed my coffee and took it to the bedroom to drink it in peace!

#One liner wednesday, halloween special!

Its halloween tomorrow! I hate halloween! I think I’ll hide out with my book, a hot chocolate, and turn out my lights and hope no littlies come to my door!
I’m the halloween grinch, lol!
Anyone else hate tricker treaters?



My nephew had 10 teeth out on Tuesday! He’s only 6. They were his baby teetth. They wouldn’t fall out, and were caught in his gums. So he had to have them pulled out. He was meant to have 8 of them out, but when the dentist went in she said there were two more that were very loose so she took those as well.

It was hell for him at the dentist. He was so upset. He didn’t like the gas and air. He said it tasted awful. It took 3 tries for them to get him to take it. In the end they had to sedate him because he was so distressed and he wouldn’t lie down to take it.

Mom went to the dentist with my sister, and thank goodness she did. My sister, upon seeing Davin so upset, got very upset too. She also got frustrated, and being both upset and frustrated at the same time is not a good mix. In the end my mom went in to the operating theatre with him and settled him down, and my sister went to get a coffee.

When he came out of the anaesthetic, he was very upset because they’d taken all of his teeth, he kept breaking down crying, and saying he was gummy and where were his teeth, he wanted them back, poor little guy!

He’s been off school since Tuesday but thankfully he hasn’t been in too much pain. His adult teeth are coming down, but they’ll take a month or two to grow fully in. In the meantime he has no teeth, and he’s so traumatised over that. I saw him today and he kept saying to me, I wish I could get my teeth back!

A car conversation with my niece

So this is the conversation that took place in the car between my 11 year old niece Lauren and I yesterday.

Lauren: Can you see colors? Or what do you see?
Me: No, I cant see any colors.
Lauren: So its all black?
Me: Well no, its not black either. I know when its dark and bright, but thats just something in my brain that makes it like that, its not actually my eyes showing me that.
Lauren: But why?
Me: Well I have no backs to my eyes. I was born without them.
Lauren: But cant you get new backs?
Me: Unfortunately not sweetie. You have to grow with them, you cant replace them.
Lauren: But cant you get surgery?
Me: Well if I had millions of bucks I would.
Lauren: But can you actually get surgery to fix your eyes?
Me: I dunno hun, I doubt it.
Lauren: I’d hate to not be able to see.
Me: Oh I dont mind, why would you hate it?
Lauren: I’d be so paranoid not being able to see.

Bless her. The innocence of it. Its the first time she’s really spoken to me about my blindness, besides asking a few questions about it when she was younger.

She must have been thinking about it. She’s at that age now, where she wants answers to everything.