I want my therapy mom!

this is allie. well if you wanna you can call me licia or lish or ali or just trouble. haha.
i am so sad. i need a hug from eileen.
i need her to wrap her arms aroumd me and then i will be able to feel safe. safe in her strong arms.
i love to listen to her heartbeat. it sounds so sootheing.
it makes me happy and i feel safe when i hear it.
i dont feel my age. i feel about 6, or maybe even 5. my 5 year old needs hugs from mommy.
she needs to feel loved and cared for.
she is hurting. sad. alone. in pain. feeling abandoned and rejected.
she needs her safe mommy, thats eileen.
its the middle of the night here though, so even if we emailed eileen she wont get it. she wont see it. she cant hear our pleas for help.
she is probably asleep and in bed and me emailing her would probably bother her.
so i didnt email.
i just feel so sad. not sure what to do Smile
feel so unsure…crying…lonely…missing eileen…
Smile someone give me some ideas because I am struggling here…
x
allie

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I just need to know she cares…

its emily again. i am so sad. i am hurting. i need eileen. i need her so much. i wish she knew i needed her. she’s probably still in bed. where we should be. i just need her to scoop me up in her arms. hug me and tell me its all gonna be ok, i’m gonna be ok. i dont feel ok. i feel sad. hurt. alone. abandoned. needy. vulnerable. lonely. so so lonely. i need her to reach for me. tell me how much she loves me. she doesnt say that to us. she has never said i love you. i wish with everything she would. maybe she does but she just doesnt say so. i want her to say it. i’m too scared to ask her. to scared in case the answer is no. too scared of her response. she says i can ask her anything. but can i? can i do it? ask her if she loves me and if i did, what would her response be? i need her right now i need a grown up to take care of me i need her wisdom and i need her love.
emily

hi frum taylor

it be me taylor. i do not lik tha dark. it mak me so skard. i am tryin not to be skard cuz it nerly mornin now. i be glad wen i can get out of bed. i dont like nit time. i feel sick a lot at nit. like i get pain in my tumy. and in my head. and somtims i get like i want thro up too. tonit wen i got skard i cudled nitro. he is sof and i lik it wen he sits by me and licks me. it feels saf. i am hungry for brekfast now. but i got to wait another hour. but im hapy i get to see eileen today. i get a hug frum her. i get to hear her heartbeat. i like that. i get to hold her hand too wen i am skard. that makes me feel safe too.
taylor im six

i want a mom that will last forever

i’m sad. I am listening to this song. it always makes me cry but I listen to it anyway because it says it way better than I can what i’d like in a mom.

I wish I had a forever mom, I still want Eileen or dr. barry, even if I can only wish it…

allie

yay ges wat you guys!

it darina. ges wat? carol anne promised us mcdonalds. and we got it taday. on ar way home. an ges wat else? ar mom buyed us a mac flurry, it haved choclat flak bits in it, and raspbery sauce. it were yumy. i ate it all up. we also had fries and a quater pounder wif chees. i had to shar them tho with tha oother kids ootherwis thay gona say im bein very greedy hahaha.
and anyway sharin is carin rite?
yup das wat i alwas say!
do any oother litls lik mcdonalds?
or bigs even? alla yous growned ups do yous lik burgers and ice cream?
hehehehe
darina ballerina and im six

its allie

its allie. and my eyes are burning from crying. i hurt all over. but its not a physical pain, altho my heart feels like someones squeezing it outa my chest.

i need a hug. but aint nobody here to hug me. im all alone. i miss eileen. i wish i could text her right now. i did email her. but she doesnt respond to emails. i know she reads it but i really want a response.

why is night time so hard?

I hate it. if anyones up, send a virtual hug my way.

allie