Working on us week 14, boundaries and relationships!

This weeks working on us topic is boundaries, and relationships! If you’d like to participate then check out beckys post on the link provided and go for it! Its a lot of fun!

Rules:

  • Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.
  • There are no right or wrong answers. Write in any format you see fit. (Answers, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short proseanything).
  • You can do one or all prompts.
  • You have from September 4th. through to September 10th. to submit your entries.

  • Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.

Question Prompt:

  1. How would you describe your relationships with family and friends? They’ve gotten better over the last couple of years, before that, they were strained, and not really that good.
  2. Have you ever had to set boundaries with family and friends? Oh yes, with my dad, in particular, also with friends, it was hard, but I did it and I am proud that I achieved that.
  3. Do you believe your boundaries are respected by your families and friends? Most of the time, although my dad can disrespect them at times, he needs constant reminding from me that I wont take his bullshit and crap.
  4. Are you treated differently because of your mental illness/disorders? Yes. Unfortunately. It was a lot worse when things were strained and the relationships between my family and I werent good. Nowadays its there, but I am not treated like I am someone to be afraid of or feared.
  5. Are your family and friends supportive and understanding of your mental health? I’d say a little bit. Not hugely though. They find the dissociative identity disorder challenging. They also dont really get it about the ptsd, they understand anxiety and depression a little bit and are more ok about those things.
  6. Describe a For instance of how you handled setting boundaries with family or friends? Well, I have a friend, norma, she’s blind like me, and also suffers from mental illness, a few years ago, I had to set some boundaries with her, because she was being very eratic, and treating me harshly, for no reason, other than she was getting attention for it from professionals around her. So I set boundaries, and we didnt speak for a while, now we do talk again, but I am firm with her, and I dont stand for any crap.

https://beckiesmentalmess.blog/2019/09/04/__trashed-6/

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#whatif prompt june 14th

Todays #whatif prompt is: without boundaries.

Here is my take on it.

When your without boundaries
Everything feels wrong
We all need to have boundaries
To make life more manageable
More tolerable
To live life, and get along!
When boundaries are amiss
Every part of our life will suffer
Whether its because we have no clear boundaries
Or are simply without any at all…
life will feel so surreal
and we will simply, fall.
Not be able to cope
Go through a day
feeling so much internal chaos
and inner turmoil
and like our body is being betrayed

https://whatifweallcared.wordpress.com/2018/06/14/whatif-prompt-for-6-14-18/

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Invasion of privacy

today while at the basement club my friend who is another member her name is denise, took me aside. she said she needed to tell me something. then she proceeded to tell me that another member had been reading what was on my laptop screen over my shoulder. and in fact this member came in and sat right next to me gto get a better look, although i didnt know at the time that is the reason he sat next to me. denise said she had mentioned to staff in the past that people were sometimes looking at my screen trying to read what was on it and the staff had told her she needed to say it to me. i thanked her for saying it to me. i felt so hurt. this person is a nosey parker. he likes to know everything about everyone and then gossips and talks about others when they arent there to defend themselves. now more often than not when i am in there i am not doing anything that is too private, sometimes i might answer emails and fill out forms and stuff but most of the time i am just on facebook and wordpress. but thats not the point. th e point is he shouldnt be doing it knowing i cant see, and even more to the point he shouldnt have pulled up a chair next to me to get a better look at what i was doing. denise said i should mention it to staff at the members meeting today which is what i did. the only staff present was bruno so i mentioned it to him and he apologised and told me he’d mentioned it to the member in question and tell him that its an invasion of my privacy and he is not to continue to do it. i hope he will mention it. i might also say it to the member in question because now that i said it aloud at the meeting i feel more confident to say it to him. its sneaky of him to do this knowing i am blind and would not know unless someome had the decency to tell me. luckily denise did. i told my friend rose whose also a member at the basement club we were talking by text and i was telling her and she flipped and said if it was her she’d kill him and she thought he should be suspended for what he did. i doubt that will happen though. still i may say it to denise the other denise who is the co-ordinator when she gets back from her holidays. it left me feeling very vulnerable today. just knowing my privacy was compramised. i hope there wont be a repeat performance of it any time soon.

therapy time!

we had therapy today after a 2 week break. it was so lovely to see eileen. i did end up asking her where she went on holiday, and she told me she’d been to the south of spain.

it was nice to know where she’d been. it helped me to feel more connected to her. she said she didnt have a problem telling me where she went, but that she wanted to make sure of the reasons that I wanted to know before she told me. I guess she’s looking out for me, she knows I’ve had bad therapists in the past with skewed boundaries and she’s making sure that sort of thing doesnt happen again.

I was really dissociated when i walked in today. we were blendy and switchy. we spent the first 15 or 20 minutes trying to ground ourselves into the present. she kept asking me to feel my body in the chair, feel the parts of my body that were touching the chair, she kept repeating the year and date and other present day details.

eventually i was able to come back fully. we talked about age and how we dont feel our age. that even though the body is 37 we rarely feel that age. mostly its younger parts running the show. and when she says to us she sees a 37 year old woman sitting in front of her it sets off a reaction in us, some insiders have a bit of a moment, shock, and dislike of our body follows.

we talked a bit about ritual dates and the memories associated with the last ritual date which was last week. that was hard. we had no words, or we werent able to find our words. eileen was very encouraging and she helped us a little by prompting us sometimes. that was good. we needed the prompting so that we were able to vocalise how we felt.

we talked about karen leaving and sarah coming on board our team. we hadnt told her about sarah since we hadnt see her since we met her last week. she asked us again how we were feeling about saying goodbye to karen. honestly? I’m afraid to think about it. I know I should, and I’ll have to soon. But I keep denying that its happening. Stupid really as I do know it will happen soon. I am just so sad about it and hating having to lose her from the team.

The session went by way too quickly. We have another 2 week break now because technically eileens still off work until the 21st of August. So its back to counting down the days again until we see her. It feels like it will be manageable though. Now that we’ve had some text contact and seen her once I think we can manage the next couple of weeks without her. We can still email her which is good.
carol ane