Happy world mental health day!
I cant believe another ones rolled around already! Doesnt seem that long ago since last years one was upon us!
I was going to go to the basement club today. They are having a BBQ to celebrate. However I am not going now. I am going to the information morning though for the mental health in the community college course that is starting in january. I think its very apt that the info morning is actually happening on world mental health day.
I hope its good! I am excited to see what it is all about!
Here in ireland, there was a budget yesterday, its where our govnerment talks about how they’ll spend their funds for the next year, what they’ll invest them in etc. I was hopeful that they’d put more into mental health and services to help people with mental ill health. Unfortunately though they didnt!
Its awful that the mental health services are so under funded! How does the government expect people to cope? To live? To deal with mental illness in a constructive way? In a way that more people are abl e to talk about it, and not feel stigmatised or scared of rejection?
I urge you today on this world mental health day, that if your not ok, get help. Talk about it. Its ok not to feel ok. It is ok to ask for help. We all need it at some point in ou r lives. Its ok, honestly. Dont be afraid to ask. The help is out there.
We need to end the stigma of mental illness. We need to do it here and now!
So with that, what are you going to do to try to end stigma? Do you think having a day and week to celebrate world mental health is important? Do share in the comments!
so next week on wednesday morning there is an open morning for a college course I want to do which is starting in january of next year. Its called mental health in the community. It usually costs 1000 euro to do it, but the cork city partnership, thats the organisation that runs friendly call, their running it in the community for free, since they got funding to do that. So I am going to go, and see what its all about. Im hoping I can do it! It sounds very interesting, and in my work with them, I come across a lot of people with mh issues, not to mention I also have mh issues! So I would benefit from it too! And I’d also get a qualification from it, a level 6 qualification! So I am excited to go and see what its all about! I hope I’ll learn some things. And I hope I get a place on the course!
How do you manage to find joy when it feels like its gone?
How do you find purpose when it seems like there is none?
How do you go on when all you want to do is give up?
i am feeling very hyper. i cant settle down.
i tried to lie down and read my book. nope. i couldnt. had to get up again. felt to squirrely.
then my friend texted me. so ended up getting in a convo with her for a bit.
my mind is racy. a hundred little thoughts are swirling around in there right now.
i’m trying to calm down. i should try to sleep but i doubt i can. no point in going to bed to just lie there wide awake thinking. that does nobody any favours.
and when i think its a dangerous thing sometimes. my thoughts quickly go out of control.
so i’ll just turn on the radio and stay up and go online for a bit. and hope that tires me out soon.
Dr. barry said we may have bipolar. She is going to evaluate us some more To see where we are at and what type it may be.
I am scared. I have had many friends with bipolar, but what if I cant manage? What if I fuck up?
Hell I’m already fucking up. My moods very off lately. Up and down and all around. Rapid cycling. So its looking like that may be the type I have.
I have been impulsive in the past. Shopping a lot. Drinking a lot. Self harming a lot. I’ve had psychosis in the past, still have it to a degree its just under control now.
I am just really, really afraid.
I know I need to talk more to dr barry about this. And I will. She did say that one med I take could be keeping the more disruptive symptoms at bay. I take depokate. Mainly for seizures, but its also for my mood.
So we shall see where this leads. For now I dont know where its going.
How did you feel when you got your bipolar diagnosis? were you scared?
so i saw dr. barry this morning. it went well. we talked about meds. she decided to increase my epilem, which is mainly for my seizures but I also use it for my mood. she said she would write an explicit letter to my gp, because since she is not my primary prescriber of that med she wasnt really comfortable reintroducing it. she did, but she doesnt feel to comfortable doing it. i told her my gp hadnt even rang me, he’d just given me the prescription that dr. barry wrote out. so she’s going to explicitly ask him to review me. she put me up to 800 mg a day of epilem. i was taking 400 at night. she also reintroduced my metformin for my diabetes. and the prazosin also at 3 mg at night. she said she’d leave the rest for now. and i’ll be going back to see her in two weeks for my usual apt. she said there was some new paperwork and guidelines now about the epilem. apparently it causes some foetal syndrome and it is not meant to be prescribed for women of child bearing age. i dont really have to worry about it since my ovaries are gone, and I have no chance of becoming pregnant. but she had to tell me anyway, she said that they dont use it for bipolar hardly now, and she only had one patient whose on it for their mood. since mine is primarily prescribed for epilepsy and only used for mood as a secondary med it doesnt really matter, but she still had to tell me. we talked a little around my surgery to remove my ovaries, she wasnt aware I had had both ovaries removed. she apologised about bringing that up since she knows its a topic i dont like talking about since it involves my not being able to have kids. we talked a little about sleep, I told her my sleep is not great lately, that i am getting around 3 to 4 hours a night if I am lucky. she said hopefully the prazosin will help that. we talked about therapy and i told her eileen is pulling back on working on trauma stuff for right now, that we’re going to work on managing overwhelm and managing feelings. we talked about the social worker mary, mary had spoken to dr. barry at their team meeting, she’d told her we’d met and what she’d been helping me with. so then we talked a little bit about the funding I applied for and that was an interesting conversation. i told her I’d asked mary to help me apply for more PA hours. it was a good apt. I forgot that I was due my depo injection today so didnt bring it with me. so now next tuesday I have to go to the clinic so the nurse who gives the depos can give me my shot.
do you get along with your psychiatrist? do you like him or her? are they a good doctor in your opinion? why/why not?