On the verge of freaking out!

I’m so dissociative! I am watching things happen, and have no clue only that I am watching and unable to do anything.
Like cooking some food, I cooked it, I know I did, but its like I’m in a vacume, and I’m so floaty, its awful!
I’m also super anxious! I was meant to have a check in call today from my CPN Sarah. However I was late finishing work so I didnt get to talk to her, we’ll talk on Monday.
I really needed to chat to her today!
I am at home this weekend, I didnt end up going to my parents house. I just need a little me time, my own space, peace and quiet, just to be, to breathe, be in the present, that is if the stupid fucking dissociation will fuck off.
I’m going between super anxious, and super angry!
God this sucks!