Tag: Alone

When you are alone

when you are alone
in the darkness
everything feels
just a little more overwhelming
when you are alone
and so scared
you feel weak
you feel vulnerable
it is then
you wish you had someone
to pull you close
hold you tight
it is then
you need an ear
a friend
a hug
when you are alone

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Outreach

In The volunteering I do, there is a lot of outreach work associated with it. So my regular followers know that I work for an organisation locally called friendly call, we have a client base, who are vulnerable, elderly, isolated and living alone, ill, mentally ill, etc. As part of our work, we do things sometimes for the clients, it isnt just daily phone calls we provide for them. We have also been known to cut their lawns, bring them shopping, do home visits, in fact today my supervisor brought a client to macdonalds for lunch. My supervisor is awesome. She goes way above and beyond what she is supposed to do, what her job description says. She really is a great community development worker which is what her title is. If we werent doing those things, our clients would have very little support, so its good we’re able to provide them with the extra support. It feels so good to be able to help someone out. I really do feel great every time I finish a shift at my volunteer job.

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/02/11/outreach/

REACHING OUT TO OUR THERAPIST

ITS LIZ. I EMAILED EILEEN. WE’RE VERY VERY OVERWHELMED. ITS GONE 3 AM AND WE’VE BEEN CRYING FOR 30 MINUTES SO I EMAILED HER. WE’LL SEE HER ON TUESDAY BUT I JUST WANTED HER TO KNOW WHAT WAS UP WITH US. SHE MAY REPLY BUT PROBABLY IF SHE IS GOING TO REPLY SHE’LL TEXT US TOMORROW AND WE’LL TALK ON THE PHONE. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY WE’VE BEEN CRYING. WE JUST FEEL SO ALONE. EVERYTHING FEELS WORSE AT NIGHT. I FEEL LIKE I CANT BREATHE. I CANT COPE. THE KIDS ARE ALL WHINY. VERY VERY SCARED. ITS HARD TO HANDLE THEM WHEN THEY’RE LIKE THAT. WE DONT KNOW HOW TO HELP. JADE IS BUSY WITH EMILY, WHOSE IN CRISIS. I COULD ASK SIENNA TO COME OUT, AND I MAY DO THAT. SIENNA IS VERY LEVEL HEADED. SHE IS USUALLY THE ONE WHO DOES SELF CARE THINGS FOR US.RIGHT NOW WE HAVE THE RADIO ON AND WE’VE BEEN LISTENING TO IT. I JUST FEEL VERY UNSETTLED, VERY UPSET. IM VERY SHAKY. AND MY HEART KEEPS ACTING AS IF ITS GOING TO POUND OUT OF MY CHEST. HATE THIS FEELING SO, SO MUCH. SUCKS TO BE US AT THE MOMENT.
LIZ

LIZ WITH SOME POETRY

DID YOU EVER FEEL
THE WORLD SPIN
AS YOU LIE THERE
BEGGING THE DARKNESS NOT TO SWALLOW YOU WHOLE
BEGGING FOR THE PAIN TO END
BUT DARKNESS
DARKNESS IS MY CONSTANT FRIEND
IT ENVELOPES ME
TAKES ME IN ITS CLAWS
AND SWALLOWS ME UP
THEN SPITS ME OUT
LEAVING ME FLOUNDERING
LEAVING ME UNABLE TO COPE
PAIN IS ALL I KNOW
THE PAIN OF MENTAL TORTURE
OF DISSOCIATION AND FLASHBACKS
OF HORRIFIC MEMORIES
THAT LEAVE ME GASPING FOR BREATH
AS I TRY NOT TO CRY
BUT I NEVER SUCCEED
ALWAYS ALWAYS
I’M IN FLOODS OF TEARS
AS I LIE HERE IN THE DARKNESS
JUST WISHING FOR AN END

Not a wink of sleep

i lie here
wide awake
in the dark
tossing and turning
trying to get
my mind to stop racing
i listen
every sound seems amplified
i listen and i wait
thinking
what if
oh the what ifs
they run rampant
inside my head
what if someone is waiting
to break in
what if someone is outside my window
what if i’m in danger
so many what ifs
i try to go to sleep
to rest my body and mind
but to no avail
i’m just not
going to sleep tonight
so reluctantly
i get up
at 5:20 AM
after only 3 hours of trying my hardest
to sleep
I get up and put the coffee on
and my day begins
what will today bring?