Prayers neded

hi guys
if you pray can you please pray for my cousin, he’s a heroin addict and last night he was found unresponsive having overdosed on heroin.
he was rushed to hospital and the overdose was reversed. i am not sure how he’s doing now. a taxi driver found him on the street.
He is the cousin whose mom died of cancer a couple weeks back.
carol anne


lies, and more lies…

growing up
i watch my dad
love alcohol
more than he loved me
his little girl
i watched as he drank
himself into an oblivion
more times than i care to count
then the lies would start
dont tell mom
its just one drink
i can manage it
it has not taken me over
the sad thing was though
it had, and to this day
it still does
no he may not drink as much
but even getting sorosis of the liver
didnt stop him
he stayed away from drink for 4 years
but an invitation to a wedding and he was back on it again
lies, oh so many lies
broken promises
yes means no
maybe means never
i’m sorry means nothing at all

run around tuesday

omg i have had the busiest of days! i literally havent stopped all day.

this morning we did digital media, the rest of the class are all way ahead of me, so this morning our tutor gave me a bunch of exercises to do so i could catch up to the rest of the class. i found them pretty easy, it was mostly common sense, very straightforward, all i had to do was read the notes and then answer questions on them.

after small break we cooked, we made vegetable soup and chicken caesar raps, i will post pics in a separate post. we ate the soup and raps for lunch, it was delicious. who knew butternut squash would be good in soup!

after lunch i went volunteering at cork city partnership. when i got there my supervisor was out of the office, and the girl i normally work alongside was out at a meeting, there were a couple other staff there but they were all busy, so i literally was on my own in reception for about an hour and a half. it was quiet though which was good. the only thing was it was so quiet that i was falling asleep, my eyes were literally closing and i was having a hard time concentrating.

trish, the girl who works alongside me came back at about 3:30 and she made me a coffee. she said i could go at 4:30 but i said i wouldnt, that i’d stay until 5 pm. we had a bit of a catch up over our coffees. then trish went to type up some minutes in another office and i stayed on the phones.

at 5 pm i went to mom and dads for dinner. i enjoyed dinner. i also had to change my outfit because i’d spilled all soup down the front of my top, because i am a disaster when it comes to food and spillages. after i’d eaten i was able to sit and relax for half an hour, talk to mom and dad and watch a little tv, before i had to get ready to leave again.

i had college tonight from 7 pm until 10 pm. the class tonight was so interesting. in our addictions module we learned how drugs effect the brain, the changes that occur in the brain when you take a substance, it was fascinating stuff.

the taxi was a couple of minutes late picking me up after class, but it was ok, the caretaker waited with me. when the taxi did finally pick me up he said he had passengers in his car who were drunk and wouldnt get out of the car. so at least he had a good excuse for being late.

now i’m back in abode, flat out exhausted, and wondering if i’ll be able to sleep tonight. i’ve taken my night meds, had a cup of tea and a yogurt, let nitro out, and now i’m sitting here on the couch surfing the net.

i’m happy with how my day has gone. tuesdays are long, but very productive

Weekly rap up

its been a busy week. as you all know my aunt passed away last weekend. her funeral was this week, it was actually yesterday. we went, but we only went to the actual funeral mass and burial afterwords. we didnt go to the removal the night before. we didnt take any time off. our sister and aunts and cousins all took 3 days off work, we didnt take time off college or the ILS course at all. we wanted to keep our week as normal as possible. do everything we’d normally do. we didnt see dr. barry because our apt clashed with the funeral times. but thats ok, we’ll hopefully see her next week. but we hadnt seen eileen either this week so we had very little support. that led to a few hard nights with anxiety, low mood, etc. but we got through it with the help of staff here at the facility. we also did a lot of self care. we went to bed early the past few nights, and we slept wwell. we did wake last night at 5 AM but we were able to go back to sleep again and once we did we did not wake until 8 AM. i usually get up at 7. we are having a good week on the course. we did a lot this week. we made brownies, and rice crispy cakes, we did some team work, personal effectiveness, we went to the gym today, we did some health and nutrition, etc. tomorrow nitro’s trainer nathalie is coming and we are going to have a chat about doing some routes on public transport like the bus. she is going to work with me and with staff here to train nitro in and then the staff here will continue to work with me after she’s done. i’m looking forward to seeing her. she’s really nice. i bet nitro will be super excited to see her. i’m still going to my addiction studies course each tuesday evening. i love it. i have two books to read before december 9th, beautiful boy, and tweak, both about a drug addict, one written by the addict himself, and the other is written by his father. i am going to compare and contrast the two books for my book review. tuesdays is my busy day, what with volunteering and then college that evening. i plan on doing nothing this weekend, chilling out and just taking things easy. I hope everyones had a fantastic week.

your Definition of addiction

so I’m wondering…

How would you define addiction?

I mean if you had to come up with your own definition of it.

This is a question we were asked last night during class.

I am curious as to what peoples answers are on it.

College went great

well the first night went great! I was so exhausted afterwords that I came home and fell into bed!

We had intros to the two modules we’d be covering. Community development, and substance use and misuse.

We did some ice breaker games, to get to know one another. That was cool. We had to introduce one another and give two statements about ourselves, one which was true and one which was false. Then the class had to guess which was was true or false.

We got our assignment briefs. There are a lot of assignments. For the community development module, we have a community development project, and a community profile, and a group project. For the substance use and misuse module we have a book review, a reflective journal, a case study.

All of the assignments are about 2000 words in length each. So we’ll be kept very busy.

The tutor who teaches the substance use and misuse part of the course is a psychotherapy and works in the field of addiction. He’s really experienced. I think we’ll learn a lot from him.

I enjoyed the first night though. At least four people in my class are in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction. It was interesting to hear them speak. To look at things from an addicts perspective.

I think this course is going to be great. I am looking forward to the weeks ahead.

Things i want to do

so i’ve been thinking. about things i’d like to do over the next two years. things like courses, college courses, and volunteering opportunities i maybe want to try to get involved in. i intend to stay volunteering with the cork city partnership. i like it there. i also intend to stay volunteering at shine, at the basement club as an admin staff. i love it there too. this new course i’m starting next week, i’ve been thinking once i finish that what do i want to do. part of me wants to do advocacy work. i rang the place that runs the advocacy course i want to do, but they arent running it again until 2019. so thats out for now at least. i found out about two other courses. one is a course in psychological studies, it leads to a degree, its expensive though. 1000 euro a year at least. i’d have to look into it more. i might email my friend denise and ask her to send me on info about it. because maybe when i finish the drugs and alcohol course i could do that while i wait to do the advocacy course. its a thought anyway. the advocacy course is only short, and is relatively cheap. i love psychology so i know i’d really love the course in psychological studies. it is also part time which i think would suit me better than full time. when i go to college full time it always leads to me being totally stressed out and quitting. i’ve never finished any of the full time courses i started. i basically dropped out in the middle of both of them. i was doing social work, that didnt work out. i did childcare, that also didnt work out. that tells me something, that maybe full time college doesnt suit me at this time. i did finish a diploma in community education anda diploma in youth and community work, both of those I did part time. so i can do it. i can achieve qualifications. i just need to slow down and work at a slower pace. i also recently saw a course in community mental health but i think its just an intro level course and its pretty expensive too and doesnt lead to any qualification so i dont know if i’d be interested because i want courses where i can take what i’ve learned and apply it in a work or volunteer setting. another member at the basement club told me today about this training being offered to service users in our area to facilitate workshops and give them to groups of newly diagnosed people, but the thing is you have to be diagnosed with either psychosis or bipolar disorder, I am not diagnosed with either, even though we do have psychosis but its unofficial. so thats out for me, but the clinical nurse manager got back to me and asked me to submit a profile of myself and he said if further training opportunities come up that he will email them on to me. that was good of him and i like being a part of email lists where info is circulated because you find out about stuff that way which i really love since i cant read billboards or posters etc. i also got added to the cork city partnership mailing list. they put out a lot of info via email about upcoming events, training etc. i did think should i go on and do further study in addictions once i’ve my level five certification done but i am not sure, guess i’ll wait and see what happens, if i like it, i think i will like it, but i am not sure its what i want to work in full time, the addiction area i mean.