Working on us, week 21, addictions and obsessions!

This week Beckys Working on us prompt deals with addiction and obsession! I thought I would participate! Becky is doing a great job of raising awareness of mental illnesses and I am proud to participate and be part of her weekly prompt!
Becky says this about her prompt!

Hello, All! Welcome back to Working on Us A series that represents people with mental health illnesses/disorders.

Help Break The Stigma Surrounding Mental Health

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Rules:

Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.

There are no right or wrong answers. Write in any format you see fit. (Answers, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short proseanything, and/or narrative).

You can do one or all prompts.

You have from October 30th. through November 5th. to submit your entries.

Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.

( If you the blogger has a suggestion/question you want to ask in the future weeks, please submit them in the comment section of this post).

Lets see if we can get some men involved in this weeks prompts, your viewpoint/feelings are validated here too!

Plus, as an added bonus, whoever responds to the following prompts will automatically be reblogged to promote your blog site and spread more awareness!

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Remember to create a pingback to this original post after you write your own post. Also, remember that this is not a prompt-based post. Please write a narrative. I really look forward to your responses. Or, maybe I should say We all look forward to one anothers responses.

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So here I go!

What am I addicted to? Number one on my list is, my phone! I always have to have it! I know lots of people are addicted to their phones, or feel that they are. But I really have a huge problem! My phone is never out of my sight! Its always wherever I go! Always glued to me!

I am either always on wordpress, facebook, or texting!

The second thing I am addicted to is food! I use it as a comfort! I am trying to break that habit! I have been losing weight and eating only when I am hungry! Before I’d use food to cope, I’d use it when I was sad, angry, and eat whatever I wanted! I gained a ton of weight! Also take away food was my downfall! It is a huge trigger for me, so now I just dont eat it!

There is alcohol and drug addictions in my family also! My dad is an alcoholic, and all of his brothers and sisters were alcoholics too and his mom also was one!

One of my cousins is addicted to heroin,!

Thankfully I’ve never been addicted to either drugs or alcohol. I do drink but I can take it or leave it and it wouldnt bother me if I didnt drink for months on end!

I do think I have an addictive personality though!

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Therapy. Talking about dads addiction

therapy today was intense. we discussed my dad and his alcohol addiction. that was hard. its something we hadnt really touched on before. i rarely bring it up to anyone. and i’d not really spoken to eileen about it. so i felt glad that i could. for those that dont know, my dad is an alcoholic. he still drinks now. he drinks almost every day. he’s not violent, but he is very controlling, and very obsessive, wired and always thinks he needs to be right. he doesnt listen to reason, or in fact listen to anyone when he is drinking. its his way or no way. today we talked about how argumentative liz can be with him. liz doesnt get along with him. she cant stand him in fact. he sets her off. she gets angry, their personalities clash. eileen tried to advise her today. she tried to tell her that you cant reason with an alcoholic. they blame everyone else. there is no reasoning with them. eileen was saying how we need to look after our own self care. we need to take care of our own mental health. she advised us that we have a choice. we can react, or we can change our responses. she encouraged us to put a reminder into our phone, that we can look at while we’re at our parents house. its stressful at our parents house when he’s drinking. our mom avoids him. we do too for the most part. we got in the bedroom and go on our laptop. we dont talk to him unless we have to. because talking only leads to him yelling, or arguing with us. eileen told us to put the reminder in our phone that we have a choice, and set it up so we can see it every hour. so we’re going to do that. she said a lot today about addicts. about addiction and the patterns of what goes on for both the addict and for us the person living with it. we talked about codependency. she offered up the names of some books i can get and i am going to get one or two and read them. it was a good conversation. even if it was difficult to talk about. im sure we’re not done with it by a long shot. we didnt really resolve any of it, other than to set up the reminders in our phone about choices. and even that, even the fact that we have choices. that goes right over our head. its like we dont see it. because for all these years our choices were taken from us. we never had a choice in how to respond or react. so now that we do, that seems odd to us. like its someone else’s life, not ours. anyway. we’ll do what she suggested and see what happens. i came home after therapy, and went in to work. then came home after work, ate and went for a rest. didnt really sleep though. im a little wound up. still reflecting on todays session. doubt i’ll sleep tonight. we’ll see. bringing up his addiction always effects us all a lot. living with an addict or having one in your life is so so hard. he’s not going to change now though. so we’ll have to try to change our responses. anyway. it was a good therapy session.

Book review: Denied a mummy by maggie hartley

Just finished an amazing book, denied a mummy by Maggie Hartley.

Here’s the summary of the book, and my thoughts are below.

When Maggie’s latest placement arrives on her doorstep, the three young siblings have clearly been through unspeakable traumas in their short lives. Violent, malnourished and showing signs of sexualised behaviour, the two brothers and their big sister have been left to fend for themselves by their drug-addicted parents. Maggie must use all of her skills and experience as a foster carer to help these damaged siblings to learn to be children again. With much love, care and patience, their behaviour gradually starts to improve, and social services start looking for a forever family for them.

But alarm bells start to ring when Maggie meets the couple who have been matched to adopt the siblings. It is clear that they’re looking for the perfect ready-made family, and they’re not going to get it with these vulnerable brothers and sister. Despite raising her concerns with social services, Maggie is powerless to prevent the adoption from going ahead, and she must put aside her own fears to help the siblings settle in with their new parents. But she can’t shake the feeling of dread as she waves them good-bye.

Six months later, Maggie’s worst nightmares come true when she learns that the children have been handed back to the care of social services following the breakdown of the adoption. Maggie must fight to get the children returned to her, but is it too late to undo the damage that has been done?

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My thoughts…

An absolutely fabulous read. Gripping, a page turner. This book you wont be able to put it down! It was heartbreaking in parts, uplifting in parts, an overall great read! You cheer as the children progress, you cry with them, laugh with them, I highly recommend you read this one! It will not disappoint!
Its available on audible, kindle and in paperback.

My new addiction!

Wanna know what my new addiction is? You guessed it, netflix!
I am in love! I have a new tv, a 40 inch flat screen tv. I am streaming netflix on my apple tv, and its totally accessible to me!I am in heaven! The only thing is, I’ve spent so much time scrolling through what is there to watch, and I havent even picked some shows to binge watch yet, because I am spending all of my tme seeing what is there to enjoy!
I did start watching fuller house, I love it. I loved full house as a kid, and the show is a remake of the old classic show, with all the children in the show now being adults. Its really good, a light show, entertaining, and non triggering which is what I need right now.
Anyone know of good shows, or can recommend some to me? I am pretty diverse, I like a lot of genres, I like medical shows, crime shows, documentaries, most things really, except science fiction and I am not a huge fan of horror either.
I’d love to know what you have binge watched, loved, hated, or are addicted to watching!

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Merry christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!

I’ve been up since 4 AM. Mom also got up. We sat chatting and drinking tea, then we opened presents.

Mom got me some really lovely smellies, soap and glory brand, my fave! I got body sprays, shower gel, body butter, I love them!

She also got me some clothes, and a ticket to go to a rod stuary tribute band in a few weeks time!

I hope you all have a fantastic day today!

May your day be full of joy and good food too!

The trauma conference I attended

I attended a wonderful conference on trauma today. There were 3 speakers who spoke. A lot of it was stuff I knew but I still found it helpful to attend. The speakers were the psychotherapist who works for shine, that runs the basement club, a psychotherapist whose in private practice and who works with trauma, and a social worker who spoke about CBT and two different techniques that she uses in her practice asa CBT therapist. My favourite speaker was the psychotherapist who was in private practice, I could really identify with her and she reminded me of eileen a lot too. She talked about a trauma process called the rewind process, it is the approach she uses. It was fascinating. She also gave a lot of analysis of clients she’s worked with and told some stories about different clients she’s had. She talked a lot about dissociation, about the symptoms of trauma, about trauma approaches etc. One thing she said which really stuck with me was that you dont need to relive the traumatic events all over again in order to heal. That impacted me a lot. I found the talk about CBT good too, I’d never try CBT though. I just dont think its effective, well it wouldnt be for me, but I know it is for many people. And if the things the therapist said today are anything to go by then it really does help some people. She said a client had given her conscent to talk about her case and so she discussed that with us. She was discussing image rescripting and also she talked through how a 12 week CBT course works, there is a lot of homework in the course! A lot of filling out of paperwork! They all talked about symtpoms of trauma, especially anger, shame, loss of control or trying to control everything, etc! It really was eye opening! I learned a lot. The lady whose in private practice said she has a lot of resources that we can have so I need to email her and ask her for the links to them. She said she’s developed an online resource too which we can access. I’m so glad I went though. I came away feeling validated and like healing is really possible.

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