My blog has gotten some new followers lately so I wanted to do a bit of a reintroduction of who I am for those who are new to following this blog.
I am a woman in my 30’s, 37 to be exact. I am blind, I was born 3 months premature and due to this I have been blind since birth.
I had a difficult childhood. I went to a bording school for the blind. Whilst there I suffered horrendous abuse. This abuse took the form of physical, sexual, psychological and ritual abuse.
Due to the trauma of the abuse I developed dissociative identity disorder. Did is a disorder characterised by episodes of dissociation, time loss, and other personalities known as alters sharing the body with the birth personality who is known as the host.
I also have complex ptsd and generalised anxiety disorder. In this blog I write about many things. I write about my daily life. I write about my disability. I write about my mental illnesses. I write about the process of going through psychotherapy and recovery from child abuse.
I want to welcome all of my new followers. I am very grateful that you wanted to join me on my journey to recovery and healing.
Carol anne, for the collective
I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door.
I did it. I found myself a volunteer role! I will be working as an office assistant for a local community partnership. Cork city partnership works with vulnerable individuals and individuals who experience adversity and disadvantage. I met with the development workers there this morning. They were really impressed with my CV. They said as soon as my guarda clearance comes back I can start. I’m so excited! My blindness didnt get in the way even! They were really open to working with me. I’ll be doing admin work like typing up letters, answering and sending emails, answering the phones, etc. I cant wait to start. It’ll be a couple of weeks before I do though. Still, the fact that I got a place for one half day per week is so amazing. Now I have this position, and my ongoing position down at the basement club as well. So happy!
Today was a lazy day. I chilled out at home for the whole day. Did absolutely nothing. Didnt even get dressed lol.
My PA Kristen came this morning. I told her I was taking it easy, having a sorta mental health day. She did some cleaning around the house and then she went to the local store and got us both breakfast rolls. They were delicious.
A man came to deal with my wasp issue. He couldnt really do anything, he was just a city council worker. But he rang and arranged for pest control to come out to get rid of the wasps. Not sure when they’ll be out but I hope its soon.
Kristen helped me label all of my dvd’s. That took a while. I have this gadget called the pen friend. Basically how it works is you have labels and you make voice recordings and put the labels on things and then when you rub the penfriend along the label your voice speaks the name of the item. Its pretty cool.
I decided to have a nap when kristen left. Ended up sleeping for 2 hours. Then had dinner. Now am at my parents house, spending the weekend here. Nitro is sick. He has thrown up twice now. I’m not sure what is wrong with him but I am worried about him. I hope he is going to be ok.
Well thats about it from here. How is everyone else?
Yesterday at the basement club there was an art group that I went to. The group meets every wednesday from 2 until 4. I’d never gone before, because I thought all they did was paint and draw. But when I asked Bruno about it he said if I got some materials like clay and other things that I could join in with the group. So I decided I am going to get clay, and beads to make jewelery, and card making supplies. I went yesterday even though I did not have any supplies yet. Bruno found me some clay but it was not very pliable and I had a hard time trying to cut it and roll it out. I stayed for about half an hour though before I had had enough of the clay and decided that I would not stay for the entirity of the group. The group is very relaxed. Bruno puts on relaxing music, he lights a candle, and the atmosphere is just really nice. Lots of chatting amongst members and everyone just doing their own thing and having fun. I’m definitely thinking I’ll go in future because I do love to make things and just think all the things I could start making for friends and family.
today we saw dr. barry for the first time since we got out of the hospital. we hadnt seen her since we were in there and she left to go on holiday. we had a lot to catch her up on.
we reported the nurse who had talked about us to another nurse while we were an inpatient. we overheard all of her conversation, remember us telling you about that? dr. barry was horrified. she said it was totally unprofessional and inappropriate. she said there are forums for staff members to discuss patients and care plans and things and that she shouldnt have done it in a public space where she knew I could overhear her.
I told her some about the work we’d been doing in therapy lately and she was very impressed. She said she hoped we’d continue with that work for the next few weeks. I told her I thought we probably would.
We talked about meds and med management. While we were hospitalised we were taking invega orally because we were starting the trevicta which is the 3 monthly shot and she was topping it up with oral invega also but now we’ve stopped that completely and are only on the prozac, lyrica, halcion for sleep and haldol prn.
We talked about respite and how nervous I am about it. I go on Monday. I am looking forward to it but I am very anxious. She said she thought it would be a great addition to my support system going forward in the future. She’s probably right.
Allie came out and talked to her. They had a good chat. She is so kind to the kids. It melts my heart because they have hardly anyone to talk to in person so its great they can feel comfortable enough to talk to her.
This is a recording of me singing. My singing teacher recorded me today. I am just learning this song so she had to prompt me with the words. The song is what I did for love from a chorus line.
I hope you all enjoy it. Just click the link to download it.