Saturdays food diary

today was a great success! I ate well, all healthy, I exercised, I wrote everything down, so yep it was a win win sorta day!

Food diary

2 weetabix
2 slices of wheet toast
Mug of tea

crackers and cheese
a peach
bottle of water

ham and cheese toasted sandwiches
mug of tea

fruit salad with apple, orange, grapes, kiwi, and blueberries in it.

30 min cardio work out


Recipe of the day. Pumpkin icecream pie filling

Pumpkin Ice Cream Pie Filling

1 (18 ounce) can pumpkin pie mix

1 pint fat-free vanilla ice cream

1/2 cup brown sugar

2 tablespoons fat-free margarine

Beat pumpkin pie and ice cream together. Spoon into a prepared light graham cracker crust. Freeze 1 hour. In saucepan, heat brown sugar and margarine to boiling. Remove from heat and drizzle over pie. Freeze until firm. Let pie stand at room temperature 15 minutes before serving.

Makes 8 servings.

Per Serving:

Calories: 151.7

Total Fat: 0.08g

Saturated Fat: 0.04g

Sodium: 188.7mg

Protein: 2.70g

Carbohydrates: 36.15g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Fiber: 0g


therapy break continues

four more days till i see eileen. just four. i wish they’d go by fast. i miss eileen soo much. it hurts. it really really hurts.

my heart hurts. my chest is tight. i am sad. i am feeling alone. abandoned. so soo alone.

listening to eileen read to me i start to cry. playing the guided imagery that she recorded, its so nice to hear her voice. talking to me about disneyworld, about disneyworld being my safe place.

telling me all the things i need to do to ground, showing me breathing exercises, speaking softly and saying nice comforting things. it feels so comforting to hear her and just for a moment i imagine her arms around me.

then i come back realising she isnt here. and i start to cry. but you will see her on tuesday, i tell myself. its ok. you are strong. you can get through these last couple of days. i make myself a cup of hot chocolate, wrap up in my blanket, soothe the young parts. it will be ok. i promise we can get through this. we can. you are safe. dont worry now, eileen will be home soon. and until she’s back i will protect you. hold you close and you will be ok.
carol anne


My books of poetry

check out my friend bethanys wonderful poetry. She is a survivor of sexual abuse and writes wonderful poems she has two books check them out give them a read! they are awesome! xx

NOT MY SECRET...My story...My truth

I have written two books of poetry found on amazon. My poetry is simple. I write to heal. I write to connect to other survivors. I write to share my story. My inner most emotions can be freely expressed in poetry. Some of this poetry I wrote when I was 15 years old. Some when I was 20. Some when I was 43. Every age inbetween. I have been told by some that have read it that they are best read one a day as some of them are deeply rooted in abuse and can be emotional.

If you are looking for some poetry to connect to perhaps you can give my books a read. I’d be truly honored.

One is titled

Here is the link:

My second book published is titled:

Here is the link:

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friday update

had a pretty relaxed day. not much going on. didnt go anywhere, was going to go to the basement club but then decided i wouldnt at the last minute. just felt like chilling out and relaxing at my parents without having to go out. also the weather was crappy, it rained on and off all day.

i just lay around in my pj’s. read, and watched tv. did not even go for a walk today like I’d planned on doing. baaad me no exercise today. oh well. there is always tomorrow.

my sister came over after work with the kids. mom was looking after them for an hour then mom and my sister both went to get their school uniforms. my sister spent over 300 euro on all the stuff for the kids for going back to school. thats just on clothing, and stationery, and back packs, etc. no books. the books will be separate.

well thats about it. have no more to add to this post. its a short one for tonight.