I am in the hospital

I am now in the psych hospital. I was admitted this morning after I saw dr. Barry. She called while I was with her to see if a bed was available and it was. I went in at lunch time. I dont know how long I will be here.
So far things are going well for us. Its been an anxious sorta day but also a quiet day on the ward.
I got all the paperwork for the admission completed. There were two student nurses helping me and they were great. One of them remembered me from my last hospitalisation.
One of the student nurses guided me to the dining room to eat and she even helped me cut my food and butter bread and pour tea. She was amazing.
As I said I feel anxious and unsettled. I’ve talked to Eileen and she told me to text her if I need too which I am happy about.
I saw the doctor on call and had a physical examination and a psych evaluation. He was a junior doctor and he’s not part of doctor Barrys team so his questions were a little bit annoying. He said he’d only been working in the hospital for the past 3 months. He’d never treated someone with did, only read about it in text books.
I’m happy though with how things are going. It looks like we’re in safe hands. And of course I have my phone and computer yay. 🙂


i be skard, voices

hi it me taylor
is anybuyd around
can sombudy tok to me
thers voises i hear them
mens voises
they be skarin me
they ar sayin mean things
soon i will see faces too
that alwas hapens when the voises come first
i be shakin and coverin my ears
but they stil loud and bein mean

Video blog Jan 10th 2016

This is our latest video blog.  Please subscribe to our youtube channel. You can do it when you are watching this video blog.  I’m sure most of my readers know all this but I thought for the benefit of those who dont I’d post it.  Not sure if the camera was pointing correctly at my face or not. Awe, the joys of being blind. 🙂


Latest video blog!

30 day challenge day 3

Day 3: Your day in great detail

Woke up at 10:30 to my mom saying I needed to get up and shave my legs, she’d been nagging me to do it since last night
11 AM: Had a yogurt and a cup of tea. Spoke to Cora from the weekend mental health team.
11:30 AM…checked email.
12:30 PM…talked to mom and dad in their kitchen for half an hour.
1 PM…my sister came with her partner and the kids, we all had dinner.
2:15 PM: Got a taxi home to my own house.
3 Pm: Watched some tv, then fed Nitro.
6 PM: Had some food.
7 PM: Talked to my friend on the phone for an hour.
8 PM: Did some stuff online.
9 PM: Spoke to another friend on the phone.
10 PM: Made some tea, read my book.
11:45 PM: I’m still awake. Will probably be awake all night, because I am feeling terrible.

random sunday musings

todays been mostly an ok day. one of the nurses from the weekend team phoned me early this morning. i forgot she’d be phoning so i left my phone in the bedroom. so then she rang my mom to see where i was. i was annoyed at that but i suppose they have to do that. dr. barry said they freak out when they cant get hold of you.
the nurse who called was called cora. i found her to be better than jessica who was the nurse who called yesterday. she asked me how i was doing and how i’d slept. i told her i was just trying to stay busy until tomorrow when i could see dr. barry.
she told me to ring during the day if i needed anything, they are working until 5 PM. its good to know i can call if things get worse.
i had dinner at mom and dads. my sister and her partner came with the two kids. the kids always cheer me up. my sister was taking lauren who is 7 shopping for a communion dress. Mom went with them. i am heading to my friend Normas soon I’m just waiting for her to ring me.
i thought i was getting a stomach bug last night. i felt bad and had pains in my stomach and gas. but luckily it never materialised and boy was i glad. i hate stomach bugs.

Book review-If only he told me, a short story by Mia Marconi

I just finished another of Mia Marconi’s books. Mia Marconi writes short stories about her experiences of fostering. She lives in the UK. This is book 3 of her books. As I said they are all short reads.
This book tells Brodys story. Brody is six yeard old and he came to Mia as an emergency placement. He was with his previous foster carer for 2 years, but one night he smashed up their house. The foster carer wanted him out of the house immediately so Mia was asked to take him.
When Brody arrives he is polite, friendly, and very helpful. Mia cant imagine him smashing up someones house. By this time Mia has four kids and Brody makes friends with Alphie, Mias only boy. They play football together and are like brothers.
Mia finds out about Brodys family and background. His mother and father are alcoholics. He spent the first 3 years of his life in their care. They neglected him and he lived in squalor. Their flat was filthy. At age 3 Brody was taken into care but he’d been on the at risk register since birth. His mother also had special needs and his father was violent towards his mother. Brody idolised his father though and had little time for his mother.
After a couple of months with Mia, Brodys behaviour starts to worsen. He has violent outbursts. He becomes competetive and keeps telling Alphie that he is better than him at everything. He starts punching and hitting Mia. Calling her names and being very rude in public. Mia is at a loss as to what to do with him. His social worker Lottie had warned Mia that this might happen.
Mia doesnt want to give up on him. She keeps trying to help him but there is little change in him or his behaviour. He smashes up her house. His room. He takes up all of her time and attention. And he loves it. He craves attention and when he is the centre of attention is when heh is happy.
When he is 11 and starts secondary school he starts to self harm. He also starts to threaten to commit suicide on a regular basis. He starts individual therapy sessions with Mia to try to figure out why his relationship with her is so bad. He hates these sessions though. Then Mia realises her son Alphie is changing. He keeps being ill with different things. He tries to tell Mia one day that Brody makes him angry. But Mia doesnt take any notice. Eventually one night it all comes to a head. Mia finds out Alphie is being bullied by Brody. After six years of trying to help Brody Mia is drained. She cant do any more to help him. And he doesnt want to live with her any more. So Brody is moved. And Mias family tries to get back to normal.
She has a long talk to Alphie. He cries and says Brody tormented him. Mia feels very guilty that she didnt notice sooner, as the rest of her family did. They had tried to warn her that it wasnt working out. On new years day about a year later Brody contacts mia. But social services say it would unsettle him to see her. So for years she doesnt see him. Eventually after a couple of years they do talk. And Brody tells her that living with her were some of the best years of his life. But ultimately he had wanted to return home to his family. Which he did. That was his goal and he succeeded at it.
The book is very good. It talks about many of the challenges faced by foster parents who take on a child who is very high maintenance. I found it to be a good read. I think foster parents and social workers and others who like true life stories would enjoy reading it.