weekend babble

so far we’re having a pretty good weekend. we’ve been busy. yesterday which was friday we woke up at 4 AM. Nitro wanted to go out and he was standing by our bed whimpering. he woke us out of a really deep sleep. then we just stayed up and got on with our day.
our pa came at 10. she helped us cook breakfast. i made some sausage and toast. i’ve become quite addicted to sausage sandwiches. after breakfast we did some housework. our pa vacumed and mopped the floors, did the dishes, put the laundry in to wash, and made up our bed. then we had to go get our eyebrows and lip waxed. it seems the price of waxing has increased as it cost me 25.50 to get the waxing done. i thought that was a little bit on the expensive side. but i suppose it should be expected, the place i go to is upscale. i go there because they are friendly and good with me having a disability. after we finished there we picked up some lunch stuff, bread rolls and turkey and chips and drinks. then we went back to my house and ate. after that my pa dropped me to mom and dads house. i am spending the weekend here. i’ll probably stay until Monday evening.
the rest of friday was quiet. my dads been ill and had to go back to the doctor. his ears been bothering him and the doctor think he might have shingles. she referred him to the eye ear and throat hospital and he went there last night. my sister dropped him there. they cleaned out his ear and gave him steroid drops. while mom and him were gone i read my book. i’m reading damaged by cathy glass. i’ve read it before and am rereading it again. i love it although it can be triggering in places due to it describing abuse.
think i’ll end here and go read again now. i am still tired but i doubt i go back to sleep now.

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We’re going on vacation next week

and I cant wait. We booked it yesterday. I’m going with my mom and my sister and my sisters two kids
we are going to a theme park and a water park, and staying in a hotel for two nights. i had to book my own room in the hotel…they got a family deal, mine cost more, but i dont care, its gonna be so worth it.
we are going from thursday 4th August, until saturday 6th August. this is just what I need right now, something good to look forward to and to lift my mood as i’ve been kinda down and feeling flat lately.

Quote of the day July 29th 2016

People come into your life for a reason; the negative people usually are there to teach you what you don’t want to become, treat you how you don’t want to be treated, and to show you what you don’t deserve. Embrace them, let them teach you, and then let them go.
Roxanne Hoffner

rambling thoughts on weight, its still an issue

i am back to seeing karen o my nutritionist weekly. i had stopped going for a while because of being in the hospital and stuff but last week i started back with her again. all my hard work was undone while i was in hospital though, the 10 pounds i lost was almost all put back on again. its just depressing. at least 7 pounds of what i lost was put back on. its so easy to put on weight but so hard to lose it, it drives me nuts. i spent almost the entire month of june in the hospital, the first two weeks I was in there I did eat a lot of chocolate and other types of junk food, but the second time I was in there I got my mom to bring me in fruit and i didnt eat any junk food. I can only imagine what would have been the outcome if I’d eaten junk food the second time I was in there. Its so difficult because hospital food tastes disgusting and I barely eat any real food while I am in there. I mostly live on toast, cerial and yogurt.
anyway i have an appointment with Karen this morning. i’m pretty disappointed with myself this week, i didnt have a very good week. i had two bad days where i splurged and ate all around me. i didnt exercise every day, exercising is my biggest hurdle yet, my motivation for it is just not there, i find it so hard to exercise every day, every week, i have the best of intentions, but really, next week, i really just need to get my butt in gear and do it.
one big reason that i need to get the weight down is to try to reverse my diabetes. i went to my gp this week, because i have about five absesses underneath my stomach, he lectured me on my weight, saying i needed to lose weight if I didnt want to keep getting them. but then in the same breath he said my meds had a lot to do with my weight issues so I really dont know. right now I weigh about 220 pounds. things could be worse i suppose. but i really hate my body. it disgusts me and i am embarrassed by it.

Yesterdays OT and psychiatrist appointments

the appointments with mark and dr. barry went brilliantly yesterday. we saw mark first. we talked about volunteering for a while. then i decided to broach the subject of part time payed employment with him. i’d been thinking about it for a while and decided if I was giving up my time I’d like to get payed for it. so I asked him what his thoughts were on it, whether he thought I should go for it. He said he thought I should. he’s going to work with me on applying for jobs, interview skills etc. he’s also done up my resume and now it looks really good. i’m really pleased with how it turned out. i found out i can work up to 20 hours a week and still keep my benefits. that is great info to have. he gave me a website to look over that lists jobs and he told me just to go on it and look and see if anything sparked my interest. i will also need to meet with an advisor and they will probably refer me to the service employability which matches people with jobs using their skill set. so yeah. all looks good and who knows it might not take me long to find a job. i think i will love working. it will give me purpose and i will feel like i am achieving something and contributing to society. i will be meeting mark again in two weeks. he’s going to do up a worksheet and we will work on that when we next meet. next i saw dr. barry. she told me she hadnt had time yet to do up my medical report for my case manager, and she hadnt researched the naltrexone drug yet either. she said last week she had 23 in patients in the hospital, thats almost half the entire inpatient unit. she said she’d never had so many in at once. she’s on vacation next week so i am not sure when she’ll have the letter done or the research on the new medication. i talked to her about her going on vacation and she said she thought it would be better if i didnt see a junior doctor. i agreed. i’m not comfortable opening up to them and it would probably just be a waste of time. so we set our next appointment for 10 days time. i talked a little bit to her about eileen being away and how we were coping with that. she told me to give myself credit because we were doing really well. i told her i’d needed to take the haldol one night last week and we talked about the lead up to that and what caused me to have to take it. it was a good appointment though, very productive.