Sunday audioboom, by carol anne

I thought I’d share the audioboom recording I made today. About our little outing to the beach.
carol anne

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sunday outing

i’ve had a really nice afternoon. I spent it on the beach. Mom and my sister and my sisters kids were there also. The weather was nice, about 19 degrees C, there was a light breeze. i lay in the sand and read my book, which I am almost finished now. Then mom and I walked to a store and bought ice creams for us all. It was just a really nice peaceful afternoon. I feel rejuvinated and refreshed and really good and my mood is up. Hopefully it will continue for the rest of the week.

gratitude

i am grateful for my dog nitro. he is so loyal and loving. he is my world and i know i am his. he loves me unconditionally and i love him back. i know he’d do anything to protect me as i would do anything for him. he is amazing. he gets me through the hard times. knowing he needs me helps me to stay alive. i couldnt kill myself, it would devastate him, he wouldnt understand why i did it. having to feed him and groom him and let him out daily gives me purpose and helps me to feel useful and wanted. i am really grateful for his love and companionship. not only is he a wonderful guide dog but he is also a wonderful friend.

HARD DATES

THIS WEEKEND IS FULL OF HARD TRIGGERING RITUAL DATES. I FEEL SO ALONE RIGHT NOW. RITUAL ABUSE IS SO AWFUL AND NOT MANY PEOPLE UNDERSTAND IT. THE HORROR OF WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH IS SINKING IN AND I HATE IT. MEMORIES ARE THREATENING TO ENGULF ME. OVERWHELM ME. DRAG ME UNDER. I AM ALONE AND FEELING INCREDIBLY LONELY. I NEED SOME SUPPORT, SOMEONE TO TELL ME I’M OK AND IT’LL BE OK. I’M NOT SURE I BELIEVE IT WHEN I TRY TO TELL MYSELF. I HATE THE MEMORIES. THEY ARE HORRIFIC. I JUST WANT TO BE OK. BUT I’M NOT OK. I’M JUST SO SAD.

CORA I’M 16