Therapy Bits

I had my exam today. It went really well. I’m very pleased and I think I did good on it. I wont get the results for a few weeks I’d say but I forgot to ask my instructor when she would be giving them to us so it could be sooner. I was pleased with the sort of questions that came up though on the paper. I had 1 hour 35 minutes to do it but I did it in an hour so I didnt even need the extra time allowed. I had a reader and all he had to do was read some text that I had to type into a document, he literally got money for doing nothing. He was just there as a back up in case I needed clarification on anything. I’m happy though and thats all that matters, right?
I also saw Dr Barry today. We talked about my sleep, and I told her it hadnt been great. I told her I havent slept a whole lot and its down to the time of the year, I am really struggling with this month and triggers and stuff. So she said I could have a sleeping tablet for a few nights. So she has written me a prescription for zimovane, I’m not sure of the other names for that drug. I have taken it before and she said it only lasts four hours in your bloodstream before its gone. So I dont mind taking it for a few days, as long as I am not groggy when I wake up thats cool. We talked a little about this time of year and my emotions and triggers around that. I told her there had been increased contact from past abusers via phone and email. We talked about therapy and I told her Eileen had said we’d have an extra session next week. Next week I wont see Dr Barry, I’ll be seeing Juliana her junior doctor. I told Dr Barry I would probably not talk much about much of anything to her because I dont really know her and so I dont trust her and its just hard to open up to someone I dont really know. Dr Barry understood and said it was just important I had someone to talk too while she wasnt available. She said if I wanted the weekend service next weekend to let Juliana know and she could refer me. Basically that is a service where there are psychiatric nurses and they will either call to see you in your home or check in with you over the phone, during the weekend. And if you need to be hospitalised they can arrange that too. Its a good service and they have been helpful for me in the past so I think I’ll opt to take them as extra support. I’m sure Eileen will also do a phone session on halloween night, since that is the big trigger date. We talked a little about my exam and college. And we also talked about more relationship stuff. I also told her about a convo I’d had with my mom about a week ago where she was really open with me about my mental illnesses, moreso than she usually is around that stuff. Dr Barry said how she feels my mom and I have a better relationship now than we’ve had in the past, and even though she doesnt always get it right, she’s still my mom and she does still love me which I do know on some level. Its just hard when she doesnt acknowledge the did and alters and how sometimes she doesnt always know how bad things are for me, because I keep a tight lid on stuff a lot of the time, so much so that unless you really knew me you’d never know I was struggling. I told her I’d joined the gym and was gonna go 3 times a week if I could. She knows on those days I have a 5:30 AM start and she asked me if I had thought it through completely. Of course I havent. Funny but my best friend Sarah also said something similar to me when I mentioned it to her. Are you sure that’s a good idea she said? lol someones trying to tell me something, two people in fact, I think I need to listen. But the stubborn part of me wants to give it my best shot. Anyways, that was the appointment in a nutshell.
Carol anne