I’M SITTING HERE HEART POUNDING STOMACH CHURNING CHEST TIGHT SWEATING AND VERY VERY AFRAID. AND IN A LOT OF EMOTIONAL PAIN.
THE CAUSE? WHO KNOWS, IF ONLY I KNEW.
I JUST FEEL SUPER TRIGGERED RIGHT NOW. I ALSO FEEL SUPER IMPULSIVE. IF I HAD THE MEANS, I’D PROBABLY CUT. OR DRINK.
ITS GONNA BE A LONG NIGH…
this weeks gonna be crazy busy.
tomorrow i’m interviewing all day. from 9:30 until 6 PM.
Tuesday my pa comes in the morning from 9 until 11, then I go to the basement club for the rest of the day until about 4, and then my home help comes to help me cook dinner. Also my phn public health nurse is calling to look at my abscesses and dress the area where they are.
Wednesday I see dr. barry in the morning. After that mom and my sister will be coming over to my house, and will stay for a couple hours, helping me clean and cook.
Thursday my pa kristen comes in the morning from 9 until 1. While she is there I need to go to my nutritionist, I also need to clean my house, after she leaves at 1 I go to the basement club to do my volunteering, then get home around 4 and my home help will come help me cook dinner.
Friday I go to the basement club for the whole day, I am volunteering in the morning and then in the afternoon I am going to the music therapy group.So yeah one crazy week ahead of me this week.
so tomorrow i go on the interview panel to interview 7 people all prospective staff members for the job of part time development worker at the basement club.
i’m starting to feel really nervous about it. i have 3 questions to ask the interviewees. i am trying to remember them. unfortunately i keep wording them wrongly. does anyone have a way for me to remember them or should i write them into my phone and use an earpiece and read them out and then ask? i dont want to take away from the interviewees experience or seem distracted. anyone got ways they use to remember chunks of info?
i want to do this well and make a good impression because I am acting on behalf of all the members of the basement community!
have had a quiet day. still at my parents house. decided to spend the night here and go from here in the morning to the basement club for my day on the interview panel. i picked out my outfit that i’m going to wear. a black dress pants and a black and red dress top. i asked mom if she would do my make up. i want to make a good impression so i decided a little make up would be good. did not get up to much today. my phone was acting up so i had to reset it. it was telling me that i had very little space left on the phone. but i knew that could not be the case as i only had a couple of aps and only 1 gig was used up with pictures. the phone is 16 gigs in total. so i ended up resetting it and then i had to ask mom to help me to set it up because when i erased everything the voice went off too. for those who dont know i use speech on the i phone. the speech is built in but you need to turn it on before the phone will actually speak. anyway after much playing around with the phone mom was able to turn it on. i was trying to tell her my apple ID and password so she could get into my itunes account but she kept entering it wrong and i was afraid apple would lock me out of my account. eventually she managed to switch on the speech and i was able to do the rest of what needed to be done myself. that whole ordeal took about an hour. i was so worked up and anxious because i thought i wouldnt be able to get the phone working and i cant be without a working phone. when i eventually did get it going and downloaded some of my aps and stuff i realised i’d lost all of my contacts out of the phone. so then i had the laborious task of trying to input everyones info again. i had backed up the phone to itunes but i was afraid to try to reinstall everything from the back up because i didnt want the phone to get full again. so i’m without certain peoples contact info now and i’ll have to wait for them to contact me before i can enter it into my phone. i dont have my pa kristens info, or my nutritionist karens info, or my home helps info. hoping they text me tomorrow so i will be able to get it again. other than my phone fiasco i’ve been reading for the afternoon. i’m rereading a cathy glass book. the book is called the saddest girl in the world. i read it about a year ago on kindle but now i’m rereading it in audio. for some reason kindle books dont hold the same attention for me as audio versions. i seem to forget the story faster if i read it on kindle. thats probably because when i read on kindle i’m using the voice on my phone to read the text. when i use audible a narrator is reading the book to me. the woman who reads cathys books is really good. i like her a lot. my parents house has been so quiet today because my sister didnt come with the kids like she normally would on a sunday. normally she comes and we all eat a big sunday roast together. i missed the kids today. they bring me so much joy and happiness. i need to get started on my xmas shopping soon. i have to write out a list first though of who i need to buy gifts for. i think its better to have a list to work from. mom said she’ll go shopping with me soon for presents for people. i asked mom and dad what they wanted but both of them said they’d prefer money to gifts. although today mom said she’d like some internet on her phone. so i could give her the money for a few months worth of internet. right now she doesnt have any internet on her plan. so that means she cant play her bingo game she likes or watch youtube videos which she also likes to do. i’ve decided to get mom and my sister an extra gift each as a thank you for all that they do for me in my house and with cooking and stuff each wednesday. i havent decided what i’ll get them yet but it will be vouchers of some sort i’m sure. i heard xmas songs on the radio today, lol middle of november and they are already playing xmas songs, xmas just gets earlier with each year. i plan on watching tv for the rest of the evening. x factor the results show is on. i’ll probably read more of my book too and catch up on my email and some blogs.
it me lexi
we got to have lotsa treats today
we got birthda cake
chocolat cake and it was yummy
and we got to have mcdonals for diner
i had quartr poundr wif cheese meal
yum yum yum
i happy tonite
carol anne said no more treats now tho
we got to get bak on track
wif losin weight
thats so borin i fink
i rather eat candy and cupcakes and cookies
i glad we were loud to have treets tho
it somfin good and wen im sad i can think of it
so yesterday i attended a music therapy group at the basement club. it was a totally new venture for the basement club. they’ve never done any expressive arts therapies before. it was facilitated by two music therapists. and i really enjoyed it. there were about 8 of us altogether. we started out talking about music we liked. and one of the music therapists was demonstrating on a guitar. he was demonstrating the how there is the rhythm, then the cords and then the lyrics. it was interesting. then the other guy took out some chime bars. and we started playing with those. they are these really cool little bars that you play with a stick. they’re kind of like a xylaphone. so each of us took a bar and a stick and we were counting and doing rhythmic things with the chime bars. and one of the guys was playing the guitar. it was totally awesome. then they asked us if we’d like to try to write a song. so we did. and we wrote two verses and a chorus. we called it oceans lullabye. i couldnt believe how easy it was to write a song. they just asked us for words. they played a tune and asked us to think of words it reminded us of. and that is how we put the song together. then we were singing it, all together at first. but then we decided to break it up and have one person sing the verses and the whole group sing the chorus. and well what do ya know, they chose me to sing the verses. i was so thrilled. and the music therapists said it was cool and i could really sing and what a beautiful voice i had. so yeah was thrilled. another girl in the group was playing the guitar with the music therapists, she’s really good at playing. so it was awesome and we had a lot of fun. the group is running for four weeks. but i’m going to bring it up at a members meeting to see if we can get the group to continue or else get a second group going after xmas. they asked us if we’d like to record the song we wrote next week. and if we’d like to make a cd. of course we all said yes that we’d love to do that. the music therapists have a whole lot of instraments and a laptop for recording. they told us if any of us have any instraments we can bring them in next week. we also decided that we are going to do covers of some songs for the cd. so it will be some we’ve written ourselves and some covers. and we are going to perform for the staff at xmas. it was a great experience. and my first time really participating in music therapy and i loved it. i recorded the session too so can look back on it.