Day 13: What are you excited about
I am going away for a weekend on November 20th. Will be going to dublin for two nights, staying in a hotel, going xmas shopping, having a great time I hope. I’ll be going with my mom, sister, and some of my sisters partners family. We’re celebrating his moms birthday. Its a girly weekend as its only all girls going. I’m really excited and looking forward to the weekend. I’ll even take the Friday off of college so it will be a 3 day weekend.
I’ve been sitting here thinking of my so jess. This song reminds me of her. It was one of our songs. I just had to post it here this morning.
She’s doing a lot better now than she was. She is out of the psychotic episode, and having better days. She’s still in the psychiatric nursing home though.
Hopefully things will change really soon. I tell her every day how much I love her and miss her. We talk on the phone almost every day.
I sware, if I get stuck in traffic one more morning I’ll scream. I left my house at 7:45 this morning, and I only got to college at 8:40 AM. The traffic was crazy. I dont even know what made it so crazy, it just was. I think partly it was because it was bin day, that always slows things down. But it drives me nuts to be stuck in the car, and Nitro doesnt like it either. He’s so big, and the car is small, and he cant get into a comfortable spot to rest. I have a lot to do in college today. I have a mock exam, the real one is on Friday. I think it is good that we get a practice run, it really helps as the real thing is pretty similar to the mock one. This exam will be a 2 hour one, I think there is a lot in it. It is in word processing, and once its done I’ll be finished that module. The next module I am doing is excel. I’m pretty nervous about that, because I literally know nothing about excel, so if things go wrong, as they probably will, with my screen reader and stuff, I wont be able to help because I dont know what I am doing. I hope I will get a good grade though in the word processing exam. We need to know things like how to create a table, a template, insert graphics, how to do mail merge and print labels, etc for this upcoming exam. We also need to know all the other stuff that we learned, about formatting documents, reviewing them etc. Its a combination of all that we’ve done since we started the module. I must say though I got a good nights sleep last night. So I feel really refreshed. A good nights sleep always helps me concentrate better on what I am doing.
I just arrived at college. I’ve spent almost an hour stuck in crazy traffic. I was so frustrated, and the taxi driver was annoyed too so that didnt help matters. And its not even monday! I took Monday off of college due to havig a migraine. So todays my first day in and I’ve so much to do. I have an assignment due tomorrow, an exam on Friday, and two other projects that I need to work on. There have been a few technical issues to do with jaws which is my screen reader and some of the questions on the exam, but I am hoping by Friday those will all be ironed out. While I was on the way to college I rang Mark, because we have a meeting on thursday, myself, mark and fiona the psychologist. I dont really have anything I need to bring up at this meeting, I’m happy with how things are going. I needed to query the time of it though which is why I rang Mark. He had it on his list to call me today if I hadnt called him first. Last night I felt a little bit down, and unsafe. So I went to mom and dads and stayed there for the night. I did not mention anything to them about why I was there or why I decided to stay the night. I’d say they knew something was up though as I rarely stay there during the week.
day 12: write about 5 blessings in your life
1 my beautiful guide dog nitro.
2 my psychiatrist dr barry, and my therapist eileen.
3 my family
4 my friends
5 my health
day 11: something you always think what if about?
what if i didnt survive all the times i tried to kill myself? what if it worked? how would my family feel never knowing why i did it?
Day 10: write about something you feel strongly about
I should be more widely accepted. ptsd is accepted and people are very compassionate to those that suffer with ptsd. did is a form of ptsd so people should be compassionate to those of us who suffer with that condition also. it isnt our fault we were abused, and because of the abuse developed did. did is an adaptive way of coping with awful situations. the mind is wonderful and allows us to continue when we really think it is impossible. have compassion for people with did, compassion and acceptance.