Feeling the love and support from my therapist

So I mentioned in a previous blog that I got my exam results yesterday. I could not wait to share my good news with my therapist. When we went for lunch, I quickly ate and then went outside with Nitro to let him pee. While I was outside I sent my therapist Eileen a text. I checked to see if it had delivered, but it hadnt. I thought maybe she’s not on wifi or something so she cant recieve imessages and when she is back home she’ll get it. All day I waited for a response. Waited and waited. Part of me felt angry, why isnt she responding? This is important. I need her to respond. The more I waited the angrier I got. I felt annoyed that it was taking her so long to reply. Eventually when it was 7 PM I caved and called her. I knew she’d be in a lecture then, she teaches on Monday and tuesday evenings. So I called and decided I’d leave a voice mail. I left a message telling her I’d texted her and wondering if she’d gotten it, of course I also told her about my exam results. I felt disheartened and sad that I hadnt been able to talk to her in person or exchange some texts about it. Then, at 10:30 pm she finally responded. I grabbed my phone and almost dropped it I was in such a hurry to read what she’d written. She said how she was delighted for me that I’d done so well, that I must be thrilled, and she congratulated me. I felt so loved. Her words deeply touched me. All my previous annoyance and anger disapated. My heart melted and I soaked up the love. This is what it feels like to be truly cared about. Its nice. More than nice. Its amazing.

Couple pictures taken on halloween night

Here are a few pics we took on halloween. There is one of my niece and nephew all dressed up. One of Nitro and me. And one of us letting a lattern into the sky. Enjoy them.

Like a broken record?

You are bad.
You are worthless
You are weak
You are no good
You are incapable
You are pathetic
You are a burden to those in your life
You are a failure
You are dumb
You are nothing
you need to die

Says that little voice, negative voice inside me. When will it end? I hate being triggered and I hate the night time too. I feel so alone and I wish I had some company.

Exam results are in!

I got the results of my exam that I did two weeks ago this morning. I am thrilled with them. I got 26.5 out of a total of 30 percent. The marks that I did lose I lost because of silly little mistakes that I made, in other words, I shouldnt have lost them at all if I was more careful. However I am happy with what I got. It was a real confidence boost considering there had been a lot of technical issues before the exam. Now the next thing due is my assignment, which is worth 20 percent of my overall grade. Then the final exam in the module is next Friday. The final exam is worth 50 percent.
Feeling so happy…so, happy Monday? lol.