busy day for appointments

today is a busy day for appointments. i have three this morning. first i need to see Mark, my OT. That apt will probably last for an hour. I’m not sure what we are going to be discussing in the apt. Now that I am no longer in school, we’ll need to take a different root. Maybe I can discuss doing voluntary work with him, or something. I think I’d like to do that. Next I have to get my xeplion injection. The clinic nurse Helen is going to give it to me. Its usually either herself or the community psych nurse Sarah who gives it to me. I get the injection every 3 weeks. I’m currently at the maximum dose of 150 MG but it seems to be helping. I dont get so many psychotic symptoms when I take it and every 3 weeks seems to be suiting me. I used to take it every 4 weeks but a few months ago dr. Barry moved it up to every 3 weeks. Finally, I am seeing dr. Barry. I am looking forward to seeing her. We’ve started to move our appointments out to every 10 days to see how it goes. She very cleverly did that, and there wasnt too much of an issue with doing it, so we decided to keep it like that for now. I’m not sure what we’ll talk about or how the appointment will go or who will talk to her. WE just never know until we arrive and see how things are going for us in the moment. She’s on vacation next week so I do need to talk about that with her. I need to figure out whether to see a junior doc or whether I should just try to tough it out for a week on my own. I’m leaning towards not seeing a junior doc. Dr. Wall, who was great, is not on dr. Barrys team any more. The new doc I am not sure of, she seems ok but I really dont know her and she doesnt know me and I am not sure I am comfortable seeing her and trying to open up to her. So it may be that I’ll just see Eileen next week. I’ll write more later about how the appointments went. Wish me luck!

Struggling

I feel very unsafe at the moment. Not sure whats going on. Just know I feel anxious and triggered. There is also a lot of internal stuff going on, its kind of chaotic inside right now. Emotions are running high. I just feel like crying. So wish I was able to call Eileen, could really use her support. Trying to ask myself what would Eileen say, what would she tell me to do? Its hard to think clearly. Things are so chaotic and when I try to think everything blurrs. Really struggling to stay grounded so if anyones around could use some support.

New phone and random weekend titbits

so we got a new phone today. its the iphone 6 S. I must say I love it. We had the iphone 6 and just upgraded to the new model. We traded in our old phone and got 250 euro for it. So its a win win yay. When we entered into the new contract we had to pay a 75 euro deposit but we will get that back after six months. I’ve already downloaded 75 aps onto the phone lol. I love my phone and use it for almost everything. I’m never without it. The iphone is really the best phone out there for a blind person because it has voice over built in and is ready to go right out of the box. The rest of my saturday was good too. My PA came this morning and she brought me to get the phone, and while the guy in the store was setting everything up we went to have a coffee and a scone. My PA payed for my coffee and scone too which was nice. I tried to give her the money for it but she wouldnt take it. We also did a lot of housework today. And she brought me to the health store and I bought coconut oil for cooking and lecatin seeds as well. I bought both of those to help me with my weight loss. Whether they will work or not remains to be seen but I will live in hope.