is anyone up? and around? i am feeling lonely. and alone. and i am starting to spiral downwards. thoughts of death and dhying are in my head. i cant seem to shake them. dark and iminent thoughts. night time seems to make the thoughts worse. maybe because everyone is asleep and i am not. maybe because my mind starts to wander and go to places i’d rather it didnt. right now is when i really need my therapist. i should send an email. but she probably wont see it. she’s probably busy packing for her vacation. while i feel alone and abandoned and lonely and i wish she wasnt going. just feel needy and vulnerable right now. would appreciate any support from my blogging buddies.
I maked this video. I hope you can see me. it from ar laptop webcam.
My philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier.
This is the song I will be singing for the upcoming gig in 3 weeks time. I just decided on the song tonight and have just learned the words. Its unpracticed and obviously I need to do a lot of work over the next 3 weeks to polish it up but here it is.
I made this video using my laptop webcam. Not sure how it came out but I’ll post it, let me know if you can see and hear me.