I cant sleep. The neighbours are partying and I am triggered and all that combined is not allowing me to sleep. I wrote my therapist. Some parts also wrote to her. The triggered feeling is starting to subside now but it was so intense for a while. I thought I’d go nuts, literally. My anxiety spiked, some alters came forward who had suicidal urges, luckily though we’re at our parents and so nobody did anything dangerous or unsafe. Its a good thing we are at their house. We will be safe here and in no danger because they are in the room next to ours. Our dads a light sleeper and would wake if we went by their bedroom door. Feeling incredibly spacy right now, also numb and uneasy. Hate this feeling so much.
So yesterday turned out to be kinda a disaster. I know it was Friday the 13th, so I wasnt surprised. I know lots of people dont believe in all that, but I kind of do.
Anyway, two things were happening yesterday. I had an exam in the afternoon, to finish up my module. An exam in word processing. So I came in at 12:45 to do the exam. The rest of my class had theirs in the morning. So I was on my own in the class with the instructors and the person who was reading the exam to me.
So during the exam the computer became unresponsive. Jaws wouldnt read things, and it kept freezing, and word kept going all weird on me. I ended up having to restart the machine a couple of times. Luckily I’d saved as I was going so didnt lose anything. But I kept having to ask for help from my instructor. But I managed to get through the exam fully and I think I did ok on it. I’m hopeful I did ok and I was happy with what came up in the exam.
Then when I finished my exam I had to go to the nurse in my gp’s surgery. I was getting results of my blood tests. I’d had bloods done for a diabetic review. I was having my follow up for the results and also finishing up the review. So I got there and went in. It turns out half of my blood results werent there! The nurse rang biochemistry, but they hadnt taken the bloods. So I never got my cholesterol results, or my liver and kidney function. So now I have to come back again to have the bloods redone in January. The rest of my review went fine. I managed to get my sugars down by 20 points, from 66 to 46. So thats awesome.
Other than that, I had a good day. I was meant to go to dublin today saturday, but I canceled. I just wasnt up for going. The weather is bad and I didnt feel like going out in pouring rain to catch a train and then traveling all day so I didnt go.
Day 14: Post some of the movies that you never get tired of watching
the little mermaid
i now pronounce you chuck and larry
marley and me
the color purple
any of the twilight movies
anything with whoopey goldberg in it
Day 13: What are you excited about
I am going away for a weekend on November 20th. Will be going to dublin for two nights, staying in a hotel, going xmas shopping, having a great time I hope. I’ll be going with my mom, sister, and some of my sisters partners family. We’re celebrating his moms birthday. Its a girly weekend as its only all girls going. I’m really excited and looking forward to the weekend. I’ll even take the Friday off of college so it will be a 3 day weekend.
I’ve been sitting here thinking of my so jess. This song reminds me of her. It was one of our songs. I just had to post it here this morning.
She’s doing a lot better now than she was. She is out of the psychotic episode, and having better days. She’s still in the psychiatric nursing home though.
Hopefully things will change really soon. I tell her every day how much I love her and miss her. We talk on the phone almost every day.
I sware, if I get stuck in traffic one more morning I’ll scream. I left my house at 7:45 this morning, and I only got to college at 8:40 AM. The traffic was crazy. I dont even know what made it so crazy, it just was. I think partly it was because it was bin day, that always slows things down. But it drives me nuts to be stuck in the car, and Nitro doesnt like it either. He’s so big, and the car is small, and he cant get into a comfortable spot to rest. I have a lot to do in college today. I have a mock exam, the real one is on Friday. I think it is good that we get a practice run, it really helps as the real thing is pretty similar to the mock one. This exam will be a 2 hour one, I think there is a lot in it. It is in word processing, and once its done I’ll be finished that module. The next module I am doing is excel. I’m pretty nervous about that, because I literally know nothing about excel, so if things go wrong, as they probably will, with my screen reader and stuff, I wont be able to help because I dont know what I am doing. I hope I will get a good grade though in the word processing exam. We need to know things like how to create a table, a template, insert graphics, how to do mail merge and print labels, etc for this upcoming exam. We also need to know all the other stuff that we learned, about formatting documents, reviewing them etc. Its a combination of all that we’ve done since we started the module. I must say though I got a good nights sleep last night. So I feel really refreshed. A good nights sleep always helps me concentrate better on what I am doing.