turmoil

i am feeling incredibly emotional. i’m being plagued by flashbacks all evening. its just awful. they are so vivid. i keep reliving the same memory over and over. i cant seem to shake it. i am feeling incredibly alone right now. its gone past 11 PM so I cant call Eileen. i’m just going to have to tough it out. if anyones around i could use some support.

Our therapist is home, and she is safe, We can stop worrying

and i feel incredibly happy to know that she is finally home and that she is safe. i spent the last two weeks worried about her, wondering if she was ok, if her plane crashed when she was on it, wondering and wondering, it was awful. i hate going through that anxiety every time she goes on vacation. it never gets any easier. the littles were petrified, and it broke my heart to see them so fearful of losing her, as i was. my anxieties trippled when she wasnt in the country. i just could not bear to lose her. she has become such an integral part of our life, such an important person to us all.
now she is home and she is safe, she has said she’ll see us on tuesday, i let allie text her tonight, and allie happily reported to me that she texted straight back saying she is ok and she will talk to us on tuesday, and yes, when i looked at her message, there it was, and relief flooded through me.
her two week holiday is over, thank god. things can go back to normal now. our weekly sessions will return, not a moment too soon.