Food scares me, from Emily

Hi hi everybody

It be emily

I am very stressed

I want to restrict

I only want to drink and not eat

I don’t want to touch food

I cant, I just cant

I feel horrible

I been having memories that feel icky

My whole body hurts

And all I want to do is throw up

I want to so bad

So because Carol Anne said no to that

Now I won’t eat

I said we aren’t going to eat today

Only drink

And only water, no food

I know I’m bad

I know you all think I’m crazy

But please try to understand

Food scares me

It repulses me

I feel so gross

So fat and so ugly

I want to just disappear

The memories are making me crazy

I just feel so, so crazy

Butterfly hugs,

Loves you,


Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

4 thoughts on “Food scares me, from Emily”

  1. Hi Emily, food is the right of all living things, yourself included. I’m sorry you’re suffering so much and I understand that you might be feeling that not eating protects everyone and the body.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We hope you get time to talk with Eileen and the others in the body. Eileen would definitely want to know that you’re struggling, she cares about all of you in the body.

        Liked by 1 person

Talk to me! I love comments!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Disability Reads

Putting Disability on your bookshelf

Cait Gordon—author and editor

(I arrange words and eat cake.)

Gorilla's Playthrough

Game Playthroughs with Audio Description

Social Audio Description Collective

Diverse audio description reflecting society

Robert Kingett

A fabulously blind romance author.

Jalapeños in the Oatmeal

Digesting Vision Loss by Jeff Flodin

The Accessible Digital Project

Advocates taking steps to ensure digital media accessibility for everyone.

%d bloggers like this: