I flew up to the sky

I remember all of those times

My eyes shone with fear

I was like a rabbit

Caught in the headlights

I would listen at night

For the sound of your footsteps approaching

Thump, thump they were so loud

And I always knew

When you entered my room

My nightmare would begin

A part of me died then

I didn’t shout

I didn’t cry

Instead I dissociated

I flew up to the sky

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

16 thoughts on “I flew up to the sky”

  1. Your words took me on a journey of intense emotions, and I felt deeply moved by your experience. The way you expressed your fear and pain was powerful, and it made me reflect on the moments in my life when I felt the same way. Your description of flying up to the sky as a form of dissociation was particularly poignant. I can imagine feeling so trapped and helpless that the only escape was to detach from reality and enter a different realm entirely. Your words allowed me to experience that feeling with you, and I felt like I was right there beside you. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing me to witness your journey. Your words have left a lasting impact on me, and I feel grateful for the opportunity to read them. 👍👏👌😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Wow. Ok. I want to give words of support and encouragement but I’m having trouble swallowing the anger and fury. No, I realize it’s not helpful, but… you gave an innocence to the recollection that I felt and my urge to protect and destroy bad kicked in. I’m sorry you have these memories, but you have an amazing way with words. You give an eloquent and expansive description to your ghosts with a brevity that creates the most powerful shock. Exceptionally well written

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. Your ghosts, although hideous and agonizing, give you the ability to create beauty, eloquence, and emotion in another. Always remember that. It’s one of the reasons I believe our traumas are tailored to each individual. I could not make anything from the traumas you endured, but I would simply shut down and be useless overall. You have risen above, and you have learned to harness it and create art and beauty. The ugly you endured created something powerful, enduring, and beautiful in its own right. You are exceptionally strong and you have no idea how impressive that is.

        Liked by 1 person

Talk to me! I love comments!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Disability Reads

Putting Disability on your bookshelf

Cait Gordon—author and editor

(I arrange words and eat cake.)

Gorilla's Playthrough

Game Playthroughs with Audio Description

Social Audio Description Collective

Diverse audio description reflecting society

Robert Kingett

A fabulously blind romance author.

Jalapeños in the Oatmeal

Digesting Vision Loss by Jeff Flodin

The Accessible Digital Project

Advocates taking steps to ensure digital media accessibility for everyone.

%d bloggers like this: