What it is like living with Dissociative identity disorder D-verse #OLN

I am a puzzle

with pieces that don’t fit

every way you try

you will get nowhere with it

the whole picture is not shown

on the box or it’s lid

and I hate to tell the truth

I’ve been this way since I was a kid

Absorbed in the puzzle

I lose all track of time

Anxiety over takes me

As though I’ve committed a crime

Is it wrong to be more than one

The puzzle pieces scatter on the floor

As I turn over the table and run for the door

I am running scared,

trying to get away

the pieces fall to the ground

and stay where they lay

some of the pieces overlap

while others are alone

when I look at the pieces

I am chilled to the bone

How will I ever put together

All that is broken

When all I have to go on

Are secrets that are spoken

These are my only clues

to the misfit puzzle pieces here

and I am half way out the door

denial in its most sincere

Left on the floor in disarray

The pieces try to call to me

I turn my back on them

Why can’t they just leave me be

I walk back to the table

And turn it right side up

I gather all the puzzle pieces

Making my hand like a cup

They shower down onto the table

And I vow to give it one more try

But I don’t know where to begin

I can only ask why


Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

20 thoughts on “What it is like living with Dissociative identity disorder D-verse #OLN”

  1. A wonderful poem, Carol Anne. This is a most touching story of your life. I could feel your frustration all the way through. I can’t imagine trying to fit the piece of my life together without seeing the picture on the cover! So well done!


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