Last week on Friday, I went grocery shopping with Frances.
We were standing waiting for a taxi to take us home, when a woman we both know came up and started talking to us.
We’re both friends with her on Facebook. She’s a woman that knows my mom, a neighbor from the local area.
Anyway, she said to me “I’m so sorry about your dog”.
Then she turns to Frances and says: “How is she coping?”
Frances was like, well, you’ll have to ask her!
Before she could ask me, I just started talking. I started to tell her how much I was missing Nitro, and how the house just wasn’t the same without him.
Once I started to talk, she got over her initial awkwardness.
But really? Why do people think it is ok to treat me like I have no brain?
It is only my eyes that don’t work my brain works fine!
It’s like she did not know how to interact with me, she taught it would be easier to just ask Frances how I was doing.
I was discussing this in therapy this morning. Eileen told me about when she had her car accident, and she was temporarily in a wheelchair afterwards. She went grocery shopping with her husband, and someone they knew came up to them, and said, how is she doing? As if Eileen suddenly couldn’t speak for herself just because she was in a wheelchair.
It’s so annoying. Why do people think this type of behavior is ok?
It really isn’t.
Anyone else had to deal with stuff like this happening to them?
Therapy Bits 
I totally get what you are saying, I believe it’s a mixture of ignorance and embarrassment. I think they mean well but don’t think 🤔💜
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They definitely don’t think 😃🌻
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It is very annoying indeed.
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Oh yes, absolutely 💟
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🥲
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🤗🤗
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I went through this all the time with my mother as she was wheelchair bound. I always found it hilarious. Yes, the woman’s brain was a hot-mess, but that had nothing to do with the wheel chair, it had everything to do with the fact she brooked no fools.
It happened all the time, but twice in the grocery store. Parents of kids my sisters or I went to school with who last saw us when she was walking. The first one, she was in a wheel chair. She kicked them then quickly said “I’m sorry. Happens once in a while when an idiot is speaking… doctors say it’s to be expected, and I can’t do anything about it. By the way, I’m doing well, thanks for not asking.” The second time was when she was on the scooter. The difference was she jolted it forward and ran over their toes. She blamed that on her finger rather than her legs; otherwise it was the same. In every case, the now injured party ran off and we finished our shopping.
Because they don’t know better, they also didn’t know if the “injury” was on purpose or not, or if she meant to call them idiots. So they left.
Also, people don’t mean to be idiots. They honestly mean well. When I sprained my ankle and was on crutches it happened to me. I interrupted their attempt to get information like that with a “it’s very kind of you to ask after me, but rude when I’m here to ask directly. As for how I’m doing, I’m bored with this conversation as you clearly don’t even want to speak to me. So have a lovely day, and avoid spraining your ankle because the only people who seem to know you exist are the bull collectors. Toodles” and I’d crutch-wobble away with whoever had been with me.
They’re being nice, you’re being kind of a brat, but my mom taught me that if you want to be a brat, be one… just be one in a way that sounds kind.
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Marla, I am sorry you also had to deal with ignorant people, there needs to be much more awareness raised about people who have disabilities, we’re normal, just that we have a specific need, or needs. X
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Agreed. But I also think it’s a losing battle. People are still going to react stupidly. They react stupidly to everything… and I mean everything.
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I know, it’s true, they really do don’t they? 😍💕
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More often than not. The awesome thing is, when they’re reacting stupidly because they’re at least TRYING, which is more than many people would do.
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Very true, Marla 😍
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I would think it annoying to have to educate all of Ireland one person at a time! 😉 Sorry people don’t understand personhood. Glad you stand up for yourself.
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Well, I don’t have a choice, I have to be an advocate for myself 😂😃
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I am sorry that you made such an experience. I think some people don’t know how to handle themselves in such a situation. You are blind, others are disabled, others lost someone… for some this is overwhelming. It has more to do with them not with you, Carol Anne. I also don’t like it when people talk to the parents without even looking at the child although he/she is able to speak and express him- or herself.
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Oh yes, I hate that too when people speak to my mum or someone else who is with me rather than speaking to me it’s so annoying and irritating 😃😘😘
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I agree it was rude, but to play devil’s advocate as I’m cursed with always seeing both sides of a situation, perhaps she was asking an outsiders perspective as we ourselves are not always honest for whatever reason. Maybe she thought you were going to say you were fine when you aren’t. Had it been me I would’ve asked you, then looked to the other person and asked, “how are they REALLY feeling?” No malicious intent, just looking for the real truth that you may not see. ♡
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You might be right, I didn’t think of that 💖💖
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