Drained after therapy

Therapy this morning was intense. Very intense!

We processed some memories using EMDR!

Now I am drained! Doing EMDR always leaves me feeling exhausted.

It was a really productive session, though. And I’m glad we were able to do some processing of traumatic memories.

We haven’t done that in a while because lots of other stuff had come up.

Without going into it too much, as I don’t feel like doing that right now, but we processed some memories from when I was five years old. They were mostly about traveling to the boarding school for the blind, alone.

Wanting and needing my mom, but I wasn’t able to be with her.

Then being told not to be upset, by the nuns, and the care staff.

It was wrong, I shouldn’t feel, I shouldn’t get upset.

Eileen said she felt so sad for that little girl that I was back then.

And I was sad, too!

It was hard to sit with the feelings it brought up.

I needed comfort back then, I didn’t get any.

I needed to be heard, and I wasn’t.

But now Eileen hears me, and she supports me. She said so today and I could really feel it.

Our connection is so strong!

So now I am going to try to relax for the rest of the day. I have my PA Trish coming in45 minutes.

We’ll cook and I will eat. Then I will read for a while after she leaves. And I will probably check email as well then.

I’m going to be very gentle with myself now. I need to do a little self-care.

Eileen said we worked really hard today. And I agree.

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

16 thoughts on “Drained after therapy”

  1. I can so feel with that little girl that was put into a system without anyone who listened to her. I am glad that that time is over and you are so much further now. I hope you can embrace that little child and tell her how loved she has always been 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally feel you, as I also went to a boarding school at 5 and still have some vivid memories from that time. Boarding schools are really good at teaching you not to feel, so I’m glad Eileen is now helping you to learn the opposite. 🙂 I’m glad you could rest after therapy.


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