A further update about Nitro’s passing

I am writing to you all with very sad news.

My beautiful, loyal, loving dog Nitro passed away on Wednesday morning at 11 AM!

I took him in to the vet on Wednesday. He’d been drinking a lot and peeing a lot, plus he was limping badly.

The vet did blood tests, and it turned out that he had diabetes, his blood sugar was 30, so very high.

Also when she checked his heart it was bounding really fast, so she said it looked as if the muscle in his heart was stretched, and very weak.

She said that basically he could have a massive heart attack at any minute, and that his pancreas was shutting down. She said he could go on insulin but it would be very expensive, as he’d need two shots each day and that was only to start with.

She told me that it’s very hard to get diabetes in older dogs under control, it’s not like with humans, and basically she said that even if I were to put him on insulin that I’m only prolonging the inevitable.

Plus then there was the heart issue, he would have needed further testing to see what was going on with his heart.

On top of all that his joints in his hips and his left back leg were very inflamed, she diagnosed him with arthritis.

So I made the very hard decision to put him to sleep. I cried my eyes out, and the vet even cried, she was apologising to me, saying how sorry she was that I’d have to put him to sleep.

I was on my own, but she let me ring my mom and my mom and sister came to pick me up, but I was on my own when he passed away. It was just the vet, and a nurse, and me and Nitro.

It was very peaceful. She sedated him, and that took 5 or 10 minutes to kick in, once the sedation kicked in he just lay down, and he stopped panting, he was just laying by my feet with his head on his paws, and breathing very peacefully.

She talked me through everything, explaining as she went along what would happen.

She put an IV in his paw, and gave him the injection to stop his heart, and I sat with him patting him as he took his final breaths.

I will have him cremated and I will get his ashes back in four to six weeks’ time.

It is hard to believe he’s gone. So hard to believe I’ll never get kisses from him again, or feel his soft fur against my skin, it’s hard to think that he’ll never eat an apple or a carrot again, and I’ll never go to his bed and kiss him on the nose.

I kept thinking I could hear him last night, I was waking up thinking that I’d need to let him out to pee, and today I kept saying things to my mom like is Nitro ok? When she went in to the bedroom, and when we were leaving my house yesterday I said have you got the dog food?

I kept his lead and collar, and I will keep his bed too for now. Down the road I may get another dog, but for now I will grieve my sweet boy.

I would’ve wrote you all with this update yesterday but to be honest I was too upset to write.

I posted on Facebook and on my blog, just a quick update to let people know he had passed.

Everyone had been so kind and I really appreciate you all. Your support means the world to me at this sad time.

All I have now are the memories, and I want to remember Nitro as he was, a happy, loving, and very loyal dog.

Run free sweet Nitro, RIP!

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

50 thoughts on “A further update about Nitro’s passing”

  3. Oh! Carol I am so sorry to hear this losing your beautiful Nitro is so hard. You need time to recover from the shock of it all.
    Thank goodness for your kind vet who was sympathetic and helped you trough.
    Nitro is out of pain and in a better place , I know it hurts. Sending hugs 💜💜💜

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  8. We’re so sorry for your loss of your beloved Nitro. It’s a heartwrenching decision to have had to make, and we are certain he passed away knowing he is loved by all of you.

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  9. This must have been very difficult for you to write Carol Anne. The last time that I cried was 11 years ago when my dog died. Hang in there, because all your blogging friends are with you.

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  10. That’s so incredibly sad. It’s only understandable that you needed some time to process it in peace before writing something longer. It’s good at least that he’s no longer suffering, poor thing.

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  14. Hubby and I have been where you are and although we know we did the right thing for Kizzy, Barney and Maggie, it still hurts. But you have your memories and Nitro is fit and well playing with his new friends over Rainbow Bridge. It is so hard Carol Anne, so very very hard, and the emptiness is overwhelming. My thoughts are with you. I am so glad the vet let you stay. ❤

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  15. Oh Carol anne I am so very sorry, I have had to do this with three very loved dogs over the years it is so hard. My sisters daughter just had to have hers put to sleep last Saturday. They thought they were going to operate and she would be better. Then she got bad fast. It ended up being a very aggressive form of breast cancer they couldn’t treat. This was my big girls puppy from her first litter. My niece was about 4 when I gave her the dog she is 15 now she had her 11 years. The weird thing was I found out my dogs mother had to be put to sleep the same morning because she was older and sick. We lost my girl a few years ago to cancer and issues with her spine.

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  17. Awww. Carol. I just seen this post and so I had to comment.
    So sorry to hear about Nitro. I know how much you loved this sweet dog and from the pictures you would share of him on your blog I could see why. Nitro a gentle boy who had a good home with you. X

    Liked by 1 person

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