Judgement day

This poem was written when I was 13.

Carol Anne

I want to hurt myself

and tell the world you did it

I want to scream, “I’m in pain”

but I never could admit it

I want to take all the hate

you put into my heart

I want to write it all on paper

and rip it all apart

I want to look at you with disgust

the way you looked at me

I want to hold up a mirror

so you can see what I had to see

I want to go back in time

and put up quite a fight

I want to be the one to win

but you keep me caged in fright

I want to be the one in control

and watch you shrink to the floor

I want to keep on hurting you

long after you scream “no more”

I want to watch you as a child

helpless and alone

I want to make you know

all the troubles that I’ve known

I want to make you yearn

for a love you’ll never get

I want to watch you run

into arms that pose a threat

I want to make you keep secrets

that made me go inside

I want to make you create

the only ones in whom you can confide

I want to take just one day

when our roles could be reversed

I want to make you hold the pain

and know that it’s the worst

I want to know that you understand

what your actions have done

I want to insure that in the future

your behaviours effect none

I want to warn the world

all you’re capable of

I want to ban you from showing

your insincere kind of love

I want to but I can’t

and there’s only one thing to say

I want to let you know

That everyone has a judgement day

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

Talk to me! I love comments!

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