Emotional pain

she’s in pain

But she struggles hard

and only shows anger

its turned inward toward herself

one who won’t fight back

she rages in memories

and refuses to cry

swallowing hard

choking on self-loathing

why is it herself she releases the beast on

maybe it’s because there’s no retaliation

or maybe it’s misplaced

she’s forgotten who was wrong

she was just a child doing the bidding of adults yet

she finds herself to blame

for all the world that trembled

and she blames herself

for what slipped thru little fingers

but who was there to catch her and clean up the mess

mother, father, were not and where were the rest

I think when someone learns to rely only on themselves

they also learn to place the blame with that person too

so anger becomes self-hate because you are safe and unabandoning

but why doesn’t love ever become self-love?