A serious discussion with my sister

My sister just left, she came over to clean my yard and we ended up talking for ages about lots of things to do with the family.

Basically, my dad is useless, he is drinking daily, and he’s no support to mom.

He’s being so selfish.

He won’t call the ambulance, or take any responsibility, he just leaves things up to me and my sister.

That’s all fine and good, but we aren’t always there?

Now mom is having panic attacks, and they are really bad.

He doesn’t know how to help her with her oxygen, he isn’t able to turn it on, even though she’s shown him several times how to do it.

He won’t clean the house, and since they have a dog that sheds, the house needs to be vacuumed daily.

Mom just cant go home to this level of no support.

She’ll end up dying, if she does. That is the sad reality.

So my sister has said that if things don’t change, if our dad won’t stop drinking, if he’s not willing to be more help and more supportive, that she thinks mom should move in with her and my sister has said she’s willing to give up her job and look after mom.

She’s gone now to have it out with our dad. God knows what kinda response she’ll get, he’ll probably just blow up at her, but she is adamant, it needs to be said, and I agree.

I talked to mom and told her what we’d discussed, and she agreed, things need to change, I told her she just needs to look out for herself now, and her health, that is the most important thing, we want to keep her alive as long as possible and give her some quality of life.

I asked her if my sister and I could speak to her team, if she’d like us to do that. She said yes, she would, so I rang her consultants secretary, and she called me back, unfortunately I’m not down as next of kin, my sister is, so she said when the team get mom’s permission to talk to us, that they’ll probably ring my sister, and either talk on the phone to her or give us a time to come in and meet with them.

My sister is going to call me later on this evening to tell me how it went when she had it out with dad.

In my opinion, it’s a pure waste of time talking to him. He’s not going to change. And mom has put up with his shit long enough now.

If she comes home to that environment and anything was to happen to her, I’d never forgive him if he was there and wasn’t helping her.

So that’s where things are at for now!

Mom is staying in hospital until next week, we aren’t sure what day she’ll be coming home. But she’s still pretty ill, but there is a little improvement, the phlegm is breaking now, and she’s able to cough it up a little bit.

I’m glad me and my sister were able to talk with each other about everything.

My poor sister is exhausted, she said she feels as if she hasn’t got any time for herself, because she is juggling her family, mom and dad, helping me, working, a job, etc.

Hoping now that everything is out in the open, we can make some changes, so that mom can get the help she deserves.

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

10 thoughts on “A serious discussion with my sister”

  1. That’s such a shame that your dad is THIS selfish he can’t even move a finger to help your mum now that she’s so sick. It’s sad that your sister has to juggle everything by herself, but it’s great and quite admirable that she’s willing to sacrifice her job and time to take care of your mum, and I’m sure that would indeed be a much better option for her. It’s good you guys were able to talk this through.

    Liked by 1 person

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