Therapy today: Taking my power back!

hi everyone!

its Emily! I wanted to come and write about therapy today!

I had a really good session but it was hard work!

We did EMDR and we processed one of my memories!

That was really hard.

Yesterday while eating dinner I got triggered, I started to think about the past, about how the staff in Dublin in the bording school would make me stand in front of a mirror and repeat stuff about myself into it.

So that is the memory I worked on with Eileen this morning.

Part of working on it was taking my power back. Eileen said to me, if you could say anything to the staff, what would you say to them?

I said I’d say stop! Stop! How dare you make a child throw up! How dare you!

She had me say it out loud! She encouraged me to use my voice!

So I did and it felt good!

My body felt strange at first but then it got easier, and soon I felt like I had power in my arms and legs and I felt as if I was able to breathe!

Eileen kept saying to me, I am giving you full permission to say whatever it is you need to say to them that will help you to feel better about yourself!

After we got done I asked Eileen if she’d minded that I texted her last night when I felt alone and anxious.

Of course not! She said!

She told me she’d been doing her taxes!

I can think of better things to do on a sunday evening, she said and we both laughed.

It was a really good therapy session!

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland. View all posts by Carol anne