Long, long day

I’ve had a super long day today. I am glad it is finally coming to an end. I am tired but I am doubting I’ll sleep tonight. I am just so wound up, and when I’m like this I just cant sleep. I’ve taken my night meds, and had a hot shower to try to soothe me. I still feel really agitated though. My mind is also racing. I feel anxious and sort of overwhelmed.
I had a tough therapy session this morning. We mostly talked about my dad, and about how his behaviour lately has been effecting us. I told Eileen how we either react in anger, and when we’re angry liz comes out. Or else I’m having a meltdown, a freak out and I end up bawling my eyes out. Its either that, or else the littles get scared and very triggered. Its not good.
I’m not going to go to my parents this weekend, I’ve decided to stay home, and take care of my own mental health. I need to do this for my own sanity. I’ve set a boundary. Its hard, because if I don’t go, I don’t get to see mom, and I don’t have her support. I find weekends on my own really tough, but this is just something I have to do to take care of myself.
I worked this afternoon, but I only had half of the usual amount of calls that I’d normally do. I was glad. I was tired after therapy and when I finished work I went and took a nap for an hour. I did sleep too which was surprising, as I thought I wouldnt sleep at all. I woke up again around 5 PM and then I had to make dinner.
Tomorrow is another busy day. I am seeing Dr. Barry tomorrow morning. I have to leave at 8:45 in the morning, my appointment is for 9 AM! That will actually be 9:30 since dr. barry doesnt actually get to work until 9:30, so I don’t know why they schedule her first appointment for 9 AM! It doesnt make sense to me to do that. Hoping it will be a good appointment tomorrow. I’m sure it will be though.
After my appointment tomorrow morning, my mom and sister are coming over, and we’re going to have lunch together, my sister will have to go to work then so mom will stay here while my sisters at work, and then my sister will collect her after she’s done and take her home. Once mom goes home, I have to work, for the afternoon, I am hoping again to have less calls to do than normal, so I can get done quickly.
I feel really unsettled tonight. I cant put my finger on why. Maybe its all the talking I did this morning in therapy, either way it has me unnerved and my anxiety is through the roof.
I am just trying to relax and watch the tv.
I am trying to read some as well, but I cant concentrate on my book at all tonight.

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

12 thoughts on “Long, long day”

  1. you know what I find Carol Anne, if I have a restless night or two I will eventually fall into a deep sleep from exhaustion! So don’t get yourself in a bind, you will eventually get your sleep. Could be the talking wound you up but more likely whatever trigger your Dad is pushing. He is probably jealous of the love and care your Mum gives you …

    Sweet dreams 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I find after my weekly therapy sessions, I need time afterwards to decompress. It’s an intense hour and you’re talking about your worries, it stirs up emotions, and sometimes it can play on your mind for a long time afterwards because you may have been prompted to think about things in a different way so your mind is whirring away in the background. Hope you feel more at peace soon xxx

    Liked by 1 person

Talk to me! I love comments!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.