Improvements

So I talked to my CPN sarah this afternoon. She asked how I was doing. I said I was having bad days and good days, she asked if I was having more bad days than good, or more good days than bad, I said I didnt really know, its hard to tell, its a mixture of both good and bad days.
We started talking about all the stuff that is currently going on for me. I told her we’d rejoined slimming world, that it was actually Emilys idea, she knew I’d been trying to lose weight on my own, and she also knows emilys been struggling to eat lately. She felt it was a really positive thing that emily has asked if we could rejoin slimming world, and I told her that I’d agreed to let em help me with food prep and planning. Sarah felt that this was all really positive. Then she asked me about meds, I told her since I started having them blister packed, that its better, we’re more consistent in taking them regularly, and Emily can’t stock pile them, because I check them each morning, and if I find there are days when some havent been taken, I will flush them and make sure they’re out of the house. I told Sarah that there are still days where we don’t take all the meds we’re supposed to, but that is not non compliance, its down to our dissociation and forgetting them due to being dissociated. I told her Dr. Barry knows, and that we talked about it last week. She asked me if I was seeing Eileen this week, and I told her no, because of the work thing I had to go to yesterday, then I told her about going to the friendly call event and representing the volunteers, and she was astounded at the fact I went, and she said that too is a really positive thing, and she was like, do you see? All of these improvements, this is all really positive, you are way too hard on yourself, and you don’t give yourself enough credit for making changes and taking steps to improve your life. I find it hard to take a compliment, but she’s right. I am working really hard to pull out of the slump I’m in. I work hard each day to be a better person. I really try so hard. I was so happy that sarah could see it. Dr barry has also said it to me, actually last week she said I was being way too hard on myself. We talked about sleep, and I told Sarah I had gotten 2 great nights of sleep, so she said she’d hope that tonight I’d have another awesome night, I said I wasnt holding out hope, because usually 2 is my limit, but I said I’d try to keep the positivity going. She’s going to check in with me again on Friday afternoon. I really do value her check ins. I’ve really come to like her and she is kind and caring and she is a great support to me.

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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