No more ordering food

I have to stop ordering food. I am not being healthy.
That needs to change.
I am gonna put a stop to ordering food for a while.
I ordered food 3 times this week. I know I shouldnt, it isnt good for me.
Emily is also saying now that we should only eat once a day.
I know she’s very focused on food right now, and so I need to ensure her eating habits and ED behaviours don’t go unchecked.
She still wants to restrict, and she still only wants to eat certain foods.
Right now I am feeling very guilty. First I ordered a burrito, then I ordered a milk shake, and now I am feeling so bad for ordering all that food.
I didnt need to do it. We had food in our refridgerator.
Its not only Emily who has the ED behaviours either.
Eve whose 10 also has them.
And I just feel gross and fat and I am feeling ashamed and guilty for pigging out on all that food.
Ug sigh. Nothing I can do now.
I just feel like we cant eat now for the rest of the evening.

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

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