Ah crap

I’m in such a shit mood. I am not well mentally. I am debating whether I need to call the weekend team. I think I might do it. I really am feeling like shit.
My heart is pounding, I am jumping at every sound. I feel like I’m coming out of my skin. I am sad and irritable and mad and angry and overwhelmed all at the same time!
I just want to scream! But I cant. My words are lost.
I want to cry too. I cant do it. The tears are stuck behind my eyes, I feel numb, like my emotions are there but I am dissociating them away.
I know if Eileen was here she would tell me I am safe and I dont need to dissociate. But its familiar, and its what I’ve always done.
God I am a hot mess! I could use a big hug or some friendly supportive comments!

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

10 thoughts on “Ah crap”

  1. Dear Carol,
    Breath deeply slowly in and out and while doing it go outside and make a walk, look at the nature around you, try to find peace there, see the beauty around you, listen to the birds singing, the wind that whispering goes through the leaves of the trees, feel stillness in you – enjoy peace and calm – after a really relaxing walk, drink a peppermint tea – and all those darker clouds will go away.

    Wishing you a fast recovery, dear friend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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