I’m really struggling with my weight

and Its starting to really depress me.
I want to get back to where I was 2 years ago, I had lost 2.9 stone, or 37 pounds, for my US readers.
I want that so bad!
But I am just so bad right now at sticking to a plan. I caved again yesterday and ordered food for lunch. Then I felt really guilty about it after the fact.
I know its a question of how bad do I want this?
I do want it, honest I do.
But when mental illness plays a part, its easy to slip. I live alone, so I dont always cook, I cant some days, I feel too low, my depression is too bad.
Then there is the “I live alone” so why cook for one?
My PA Frances cant really cook a lot, so I cant have her prepare food for me.
Sometimes my sister brings me food, or my mom might cook for me. I am thankful for the times when they can do that for me.
Its so depressing being fat. I hate myself, I hate my body. I feel so disgusting, and gross. I feel so unlovable.
I felt so good though when I was 37 pounds lighter!
I think me and Dr. Barry need to have a heart to heart tomorrow, I’m probably going to cry. Oh well, its not like she hasnt seen me cry before.
I need to talk to someone about how I feel.
Dr. Barry will understand, I know I can count on her.

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

22 thoughts on “I’m really struggling with my weight”

  1. Planning and preparation are the keys to success. Batch cooking so that you have something tasty always to hand. Eggs or oatmeal for breakfast, meat or fish with veggies or salad for lunch, piece of fruit for afternoon snack then home-made soup for dinner. If you fancy a piece of cake or chocolate, have it but then do more exercise to wear it off. And, get plenty of sleep! It’s not easy but if you’ve done it once, you can do it again.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Hun, you are beautiful exactly the way you are. Is there any healthy food you really, really like and you could have at hand all the time so you can get to it fast when you are tempted? I have substituted chocolate for nuts and dried fruit. I know that they are quite calorific but also have good stuff in them. I’ve experienced that Almonds stop my cravings quite well. I believe you could find something like that too. Sending a hug 🙋‍♀️🐝

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That is a brilliant idea. I think both gives you lots of minerals that help against cravings. If you can have them at hand all the times so you just need to grab it when you feel you need something that will certainly help ♥️🙋‍♀️🐝

        Liked by 1 person

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