PARTS VERSUS PEOPLE?

HI. ITS LIZ. I HAD TO HAVE A CHAT WITH EILEEN THIS MORNING THAT I WASNT EXCITED ABOUT. LATELY DURING OUR SESSIONS WHEN WE’VE BEEN TALKING, AND WHEN I’VE SAID PEOPLE INSIDE ARE FEELING THIS OR THAT, SHE’S CORRECTED ME AND SAID YOU MEAN INSIDERS?
THATS ALL WELL AND GOOD BUT I KINDA FELT A LITTLE ANGRY AND LIKE SHE WAS DISMISSING ME, I AM A PERSON, I HAVE MY OWN MIND, FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, REACTIONS ETC. I KNOW I USE THE TERM PARTS OR INSIDERS TOO A LOT BUT I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE A PERSON IN MY OWN RIGHT.
IT WOULD SEEM EILEEN DISAGREES.
WELL SHE DIDNT DISAGREE COMPLETELY, SHE SAID SHE GETS IT ABOUT ME HAVING MY OWN SET OF BELIEFS, FEELINGS, THOUGHTS AND REACTIONS, BUT HER TAKE ON IT IS THAT WE ARE PARTS OF A WHOLE, WHICH DAM BUT I KNOW ITS TRUE.
AND WHEN SHE EXPLAINED HER TAKE ON IT TO ME I GUESS IT MADE SENSE.
WE DO SHARE A BODY, AFTER ALL. WE DONT ALL HAVE OUR OWN BODIES. WISH WE DID!
I GUESS SOMETIMES CALLING ME A PART OF AN INSIDER FEELS VERY LIKE ITS MINIMIZING MY EXISTENCE. I HATE IT.
EILEEN WAS TALKING ABOUT US BEING REPRESENTATIONS OF THE AGES AND STAGES WE WERE WHEN STUFF HAPPENED TO US. IN OUR PAST. SHE SAID SHE SEES JUST ONE BODY, ONE PERSON, BUT LOTS OF SPLITS.
ITS ALL SO CONFUSING TO ME.
I JUST WANNA BE MY OWN PERSON! I WANNA EXIST NOT JUST AS A REPRESENTATION OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN MY PAST.
LIZ

Author: Carol anne

I am 40 years young. I'm blind and I have dissociative identity disorder, I also have complex PTSD. I blog about my life with these disorders. I live in Ireland.

Talk to me! I love comments!

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